Lurv

Happy post-Valentine's Day everyone! In the past I was usually the angry one because I didn't have anyone, but this time I can celebrate. Actually, this is the first time I ever celebrated. Last year, I had to cancel on Benny-bean because of the horror that is studio, and found out later that he bought me a cute fuzzy bear that had a heart that says "I Love You" on it. Awww (It's sitting with my dolly at home in Connecticut).
This year, I refused to let anything get in the way of me enjoying Vday with my boyfriend, so I made sure to get everything out of the way early. I cooked a nice chinese dinner (Beef and bell pepper and also eggs with tomato - so far the best for both of the dishes) and we watched the Corpse Bride. I'm not one for romantic things, but I must say that I really enjoyed it. And this year, Ben got me four bars of dark chocolate (WOO!). I brought a bar with me to studio today and devoured it. It was delicious.
I love you, Ben! (Nobody laugh)

Please?

Just for fun, can you fill out this survey?

Fever

I haven't been this sick since high school.
It makes sense that I got sick since I sit to the left and right of Josh and Bill, and across from Danny, all three of whom were so sick yesterday that they couldn't go to studio. I'm pretty horrible right now, I have a very sore throat and a fever. I can't sleep because I cough when I lie down and I'm too cold even with my comforter over me. The room shifts from side to side when I walk. Not good at all. I hope I'm better tomorrow so I can go to class, though I haven't done any of my homework...

Happy New Year!

Happy Chinese New Years!

DS

I watched the Dancer's Symposium DVD.

I'm a HORRIBLE dancer.

How did this elude me?
How exactly am I supposed to improve?
I need some private lessons...

Depressed

So I'm back at CMU and things are starting to pick up again. I started with eight classes, but after attending one of them (a StuCO) and realized that for a dance class it was sort of a joke, I am now down to seven. In studio, they immediately tossed us into a five day charette that I actually decided to give a shit about and am, yet again, met with disappointment - which, of course, is my cue to slack off for the semester.
To continue, the doctors tell me that there's something wrong with me so I have to get a second opinion tomorrow and apparently it involves getting a biopsy and spending a lot of money. Mom and I doubt the school health center made a correct diagnosis, but whatever.
Then there's the fact that I had high hopes about getting to spend lots of time with my Benny-bean, and that doesn't seem to be the case, what with dance and Lunar Gala and all the work I have to do. It's only been a week and I've already pulled two all-nighters.
People have also been bitching in studio about the fact that I complain all the time, but mostly it's due to the above several reasons. The anxiety that I might be seriously sick just eats away at a person. I really doubt it's anything, but still, you never know.
Yesterday I had dance auditions and I completely screwed up. My brain was completely clogged so I couldn't really learn the dance. I've never had so much trouble learning a dance, not since ninth grade. I might have gotten into one dance, but yet again, I doubt it's one I really want to be in.
And now one of my classmates is talking about how wonderful his project is and even though I want to be gracious and all that crap, I'm feeling really down about how I can't ever seem to get anything right and I wonder if I should just give up and go and do engineering even though I'll be depressed for the rest of my life.
It's been overall a pretty crappy week.
On the upside, Ben's brother had a baby and we went and got to see her. We were there for three hours and she wouldn't wake up, but she was still absolutely adorable and tiny!

The Big Taiwan Update

I'm back in the states, barely recovered from jetlag and its now time for the big update! For organizational purposes, I'm going to go day by day:
Day one (12/27/06):
We left for the airport. Fortunately that morning I had an appointment with the dentist so my teeth were squeaky clean and ready for the 20 hour flight. The flight itself was pretty boring, I slept throught the first three movies, but I watched "The Island." The final verdict is that while Ewan Mcgregor is gorgeous, the movie was still only so-so. I had trouble getting comfortable since the seats were so small and the engine was so loud and the fact that all other noises just seemed muffled. We landed in the airport at 6:30am on 12/29. My ears oddly didn't have any problems with pressure. Mom's on the otherhand were so screwed up she was deaf for 3 hours. It was a little odd having to yell in her ears. We were whisked through baggage claim and customs and were picked up by a taxi my aunt called for us. One thing May and I forgot was how badly people drove in Taiwan. At one point, the taxi had to change lanes and he did so by literally driving onto the white line and literally forcing other cars out of the way. I looked out the window and the neighboring car was just a few inches away from the glass. It makes me fervently appreciate American roads and traffic laws.
Day two (12/29/06):
So my time thing is a little off, but when we traveled all the way across, we jumped really far ahead in time.
We got to my aunt's apartment and slept for a couple hours. We got up and then came some unpacking and figuring out her apartment on our own since she was in the US. She is an antique collector so her house has tons of them squished in (orderly fashion though, other than the fact that there needed to be a good extra foot of space between everything, the arrangement was quite lovely). It took us a bit of deliberating to figure out whether or not we could actually sit on the antique furniture. In the end we decided we could, and I actually spent most of my evenings sitting on an antique bench thingy than on the actual couch. Her apartment also had one of those moving door/wall panels that looks really cool, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what the point of it was. I suppose it just goes against my archie sensibilities. After mosying around the house a bit, we ventured out to explore. We went on South FuXing Rd and searched for a bank to exchange bills. None of the banks seem to want to take US currency anymore. Or at least, they wouldn't take specific serial numbers. Some wouldn't take travelers checks either - which, in my mind, defeats the purpose of having them. We walked a good 10 or so blocks to find a Bank of Taiwan which was supposedly the only bank that would take the abhorred US currency and when we got there after all the searching, they wouldn't take most of the bills either. It didn't help either that the weather was much hotter than we anticipated and we were sweating quite a bit despite the fact that there were Taiwanese citizens happily walking around in long winter trenchcoats. But then, 60 degrees is pretty cool by their standards.
(to be continued)

TAIWAN

What's really awesome is that everything on the screen is in Chinese, well, other than what I'm typing.
We've been in Taipei for a few days now and after going for just a week without internet, I've been going crazy. Upon checking my email, I found 128 messages in my comcast mailbox, none in gmail and 23 in my school mail. Absolutely amazing, and almost all of it was junk mail.
I figured I'd just let everyone know where I was in case they were wondering what the heck happened to me. Alive and well, just on the other side of the planet. Eating. Lots of eating. YUM!

End of the Year Update

Well, it's been quite a while since I have updated. Yes, as usual, there's been a lot lot lot going on. After classes ended I thought that there would be a break. O how wrong I was. So I spent the next few days working on enviro and cleaning up the apartment and trying to find time to spend with Ben. When the weekend rolled around, I ended up working on that damn enviro project instead of really spending quality time with my boyfriend. Enviro sucks. All that effort got me a stupid B. At least I got 4 As as well as the lowest grade I've ever had in studio ever (C) which pulled my GPA so low that despite having what was otherwise the best report card ever, I still don't make dean's list. I hate you, Sheldon. Anyhoo, first semester's never good for me. Second semester should be better, what with my whopping 8-class schedule, it should be great even with a C in studio. Fortunately Dad doesn't seem to mind the C, though he made fun of me quite a bit. (I hate you, Daddy)
My last night in Pittsburgh I spent cleaning the apartment some more and cooking a simple pasta dinner for my Ben-bean. We also had popcorn and watched "Robots" until 11-ish. I was going to go to Josh's end of the semester party, but after Ben left I was feeling really down and I felt that walking in the cold dark all alone and going to a party where only depressants were served (AKA alcohol) would not make me feel any better. So I packed up as much as I could and went to sleep.
Next day was last minute packing and I managed to make it to the airport exactly on time - I had half an hour to spare so I had a little lunch, walked leisurely down to the gate and just as I sat down, they started to call up the zones. Woohoo, how awesome am I?
After a very comfortable ride with two seats all to myself, I arrived in Hartford where May picked me up. We got back home after an hour and a half of Audioslave, Gackt and Bucktick (those last two are Japanese, for those who aren't J-rock inclined) and had a nice dinner with the parents and Gramma - Gramma who kept bothering me about not dressing warm enough the whole time she was there. Interestingly, she told me and May that our second cousin (he looks a little like Casey for all you archies who are wondering) is going to be playing a Chinese bodyguard/pirate in Pirates of the Carribbean III. Nifty, no?
Mostly sat around for the week, it was nice.
On Friday I had a doctors appointment which was...interesting. Can you imagine drinking three bottles of water in half an hour and having to hold it for two? It was horrifically uncomfortable... After the doctor's appointment, I wrapped up all the presents - this year's theme was MOMA. Being on the environmentally friendly green design binge, we got my cousin Sylvia a Luisa Ceverse ipod bag which is made of industrial waste, how nifty is that? In return I got a book titled "Green Architecture!"
For Christmas Eve we went to our cousins' place. When we got out of the car, we heard some wierd yiping noise. I said, "What is that?", turned around, and saw the tiniest little terrier yipping at us with all the strength it could muster. Very amusing. I thought about petting it and then wondered if it might try to bite me. That would not be a merry Christmas. It was a fun day, we played a game of chess, Texas Hold 'em poker, had lots and lots of food including the Citrus Chiffon Pie we made that was declared a success.
Christmas Day was just us sitting around the house, just the four of us. And today was Mom going insane packing for the trip tomorrow. Tomorrow? Hygeinist in the morning and right afterwards, we're hopping on the plane and going to Taiwan. Can't wait to hang out with Waz! Warm weather, here I come!

Light at the End

Every single time I think about the future I always think, "This hell I'm in will all be over soon." Somehow that never seems to be the case. So Dancer's Symposium is finally over - it was awesome, I didn't mess up on Saturday. Classes are finally over.
So why do I feel like I still have a crapload of work to do? I have to do enviro still, of course. I also have to grade the last batch of statics homework.
I finished my research project for History of Clothing last night at 3 am. It really shouldn't haven taken so long, but I got distracted by reading about Henry VIII and his six wives, quite fascinating really. Did you know that that middle aged letch married a girl who was only 15? A 15 year old who was already experienced in that way since the age of 12? A little gross, don't you think? But then, most of them only lived to be 40 years old when they died, and most of them were really sickly (Bloody Mary had a tumor in her stomach). O yes, and the only one of his wives that modern people would consider particularly attractive was the one that Henry VIII divorced because she was too ugly (Ugly meaning that she was tall and thin, kind of like a supermodel).
But yes, I was up till 3 am, and now I have to hand in the project and work in studio until god knows when, meet with Sheldon to receive the C I'm probably getting in studio and then going to help my student with a statics crash course review. Fun!

Hour of Pi

I don't know what time it will be when I finish this post, but my clock currently says 3.14, so I will call it the hour of pi.
I waited outside Maggie Mo for 40 minutes for the escort to pick me up. I think I just missed the one I was aiming for, so I danced around outside (I learned the choreography for some song in Hairspray and also some stuff for Lunar Gala today) until 3:05 when I finally got picked up. I was in a pretty bad mood until I got back to the building. I saw the doorman sitting in one of those uncomfortable looking cushion chairs you see in the homes of American grandmothers, and he was dozing slumped in the chair. It looked really funny and he kind of reminded me of what a grandpa would look like, so that cheered me up. Now I have to write 6 more pages of my paper...

My Schedule

Hello, world. Long time no see. My life recently had been devoured by studio. Now that that is over, I can do stuff for my other classes. My to do list is as such:

Monday:
11am History of Clothing Exam
1:30-4:30 Studio
4:30-6 Dance jury
6-8 Dance practice
8-11 Dance dress rehearsal

Tuesday:
9am 12 page paper due about Emile Zola and Rome and Paris (I've written 2 pages)
10:30 Site - review for the exam
3 - Enviro
6:30 Teach recitation for Statics
8 Quality time with my Ben-bean

Wednesday
11 research paper due for history of clothing
1:30 final presentation
4:30 dance class
6:30 statics office hours

Thursday
9 Europe's capital cities
10:30 Site Foundation due
8 Dress rehearsal for Dancers Symposium

Friday
6 Call for DS
8ish Showtime!

Saturday
6 Call for DS
8ish Showtime!
10ish Off to world of Ben

Sunday
Day of Ben

Monday 12/12
11am 2 research papers due

Thursday 12/15
8:30 Enviro exam

Friday 12/16
8:30 Europe's Capital Cities exam
Enviro Climatology analysis due

Monday 12/19
8:30 Site exam

Tuesday 12/20
Back to CT! Bye Ben!

No, not much to do at all...

Mid-Night Revelations

That time of the semester rolls around and once again, the archies of Carnegie Mellon are chained to their drafting tables by a sense of duty, responsbility and sheer insanity. Of course, during such trying times, deep thoughts about life, the universe and everything surface and some of the most mind-altering epiphanies come to fruition.

A sample -
Josh: How do we have milk? How did it occur to some person in past to touch a cow's utter?
Ben S.: Uh, I think it might have had something to do with a venting of sexual frustration...
Josh: Wow, that's pretty incredibly horrible
Ben S.: So you could say that beastiality is what caused the creation of cereal.

That is all...

Dreary

Life kind of sucks today. I think it's been adding up since Friday, actually. Friday was dodgeball - archies vs. art, which we archies dominated, of course. But, as usual, something has to happen where I stick out like a sore thumb. The last round was hard to win because a lot of our people just up and left, and I was the only girl with a handful of guys. I'm not particularly good at throwing so I didn't try to so I just stood in the corner trying to anticipate them trying to throw a ball at me. It didn't help that 1) with no glasses on, everything was a blur and 2) I was really afraid of being hit because that happened earlier and it really hurt and 3) the last couple of art kids were pointing at me and clearly plotting.
Weekend was nice and relaxing with Ben as usual.
Today was very horrible. Around 1 a.m. my DVD player decided to up and break on me. So I called Dell Support. Thank goodness they're 24-7 and thank goodness dad decided to extend my warrenty. New DVD-rom is in the mail.
Then, even though I clearly recall setting my alarm clock for 7, it didn't go off and I woke up at 9, making my morning schedule of finishing up work that much harder. Then in studio, Mike and I spent so much time discussing that we didn't have anything yet again and Sheldon gave us a little ultimatum. Of course he doesn't realize that even when we have something he barely glances at it anyway, which gives a hint as to why I'm so darned unmotivated. That upset me a lot and, compounded with my runny nose, made pirhouetting really bad for me in dance class today. I feel like I've suddenly lost what took me all summer to figure out and that's putting me in a bad mood. O yes, and during studio today, Josh decided to take my stool during my crit so when I went back to my desk I had nothing to sit on. After finding Waz's compass in my desk, my scale in Max's and my trace by Josh, that was pretty much the last straw. I tried to get him off my stool, but of course I'm 5'4" and he's 6'4" and therefore wins the contest. I don't think he realized I was seriously peeved. Yes, I was. And I have my migraine, for the second day in the row. Doesn't help that it's raining...

Hello, World

I found the other day that yes, people actually do read my blog. Amazing, isn't it?
In studio on Friday, things were very strange as a lot of my friends went to Toronto this weekend for a AIAS conference (for non-archies, that's basically an architectural conference). I didn't go because I'm running lower on money than I would like, so I've decided to try and save a bit.
As for this weekend, it was quite wonderful - I hung out with Ben and watched him beat F.E.A.R. (scary) and he let me play Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas. O yes, and to make up for making me watch "Land of the Dead" last weekend, I made him watch "The Way We Were," with Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford. Great movie, I cried lots. Ben fell asleep. O well, I can't blame him, I fell asleep watching Predator. Before that, though, we watched Star Wars: Episode III. It wasn't bad, despite the horrible acting. None of them are actually bad actors from what I can tell, but I think George Lucas was never really good at making actors make things realistic (or at least, less rehearsed sounding). Still, good story. I've been so much more into Star Wars since playing Knights of the Old Republic. I really need to get the first one - I hear it's much better than the second. Hey, someone put that on my Christmas wish list - o right, I don't have one...never mind.

Addiction

My friend Waz has introduced me to her latest addiction, and boy is it addictive. Apparently there's a site where all you have to do is collect sets of 27 with a matching theme and if it's witty enough, voila! You can get anything from an iPod to a box of matches - the prize givers are very...whimsical...
I'm too shy to ask people directly to join, but if you want to take a look, it's pretty fun and you get to meet lots of people.

All Hallows

Happy Halloween, everyone! Happy Samhain!
This year for Halloween, I was a goth, as usual. I went to class in a corset and fishnets and a long black skirt, and had very dark eye makeup and dark purple lipstick (my black lipstick was sadly destroyed in the great sewage flood earlier this year). Reactions from classmates included, "You look very nice, Angela," "Holy S***, Angela." Reactions from teachers were much wordier - Christine said, "You're very distracting today, Angela. I looked at you and thought, not asleep, but still dead looking," and also, from hearsay, Walter said, "I could not give her a crit, because I think I would have a heart attack." I don't think I'm that scary, am I? Anyhow, it was a wholly satisfying experience. Waz also mentioned to me that she and Cathy were considering an emo/goth themed party. I told her I would love to go.
O, and I found out they are reinstating the Beaux-Arts Ball this year, as this will be the CFA's centennial celebration. I can't wait to find out what this year's theme is. Perhaps I can drag Ben along in a doublet and hose...

White Supremacy

My sister sent me the most interesting link to an ABC News report about a couple of sisters named Lamb and Lynx. They look very much like the Olsen twins way back in the day and guess what? They sing and play instruments! Guess what they sing about! White supremacy!
They spoke about being very proud of their German (by German, they mean Nazi) heritage and wanting to preserve their racial purity. I don't think they realize that they are living in the past, as Germany for the most part isn't Nazi anymore, and is, in fact, a very forward thinking country that I would like to visit sometime (their advances in zero energy housing is amazing).
It also amuses me that they tout their superiority when their own parents don't seem to have the courage or commitment it takes to be able to stay in a marriage. I'm not saying that most people are better than white supremicists about staying in marriage, I'm saying that they're no better than the rest of the world.
That's my outrage for the month. Venting online is so nice.
I'm going to go play some Star Wars now. May the force be with you.

Time Management

It's really odd that just a couple weeks ago, I was pulling all-nighters practically every other day. These past couple of weeks have been pretty good for relaxing a little and getting things done. I've managed to finally complete my room, and it's clean and pretty now. I've managed to show up on time to most of my morning classes. I think I'm doing pretty well and I attribute it to my new schedule. No more staying up all night. Insteand, I go to bed at midnight and wake up really early. Maybe I still only get 3 hours of sleep a night, but it doesn't feel like it because I always think that I've had a good night's sleep since I went to bed at midnight. It's a good idea, early to bed, early to rise, makes a person (and I quote the head of our school) work smarter, not harder.
Well, I was on a roll until last night, when my Enviro homework caught up on me and I was up really late working - I attribute that to my computer crashing and me not saving, though. Must remember to save more often...
On another note, I got to call best-buddy in the world, Marlen, on the phone a few days ago, since we both now possess cell-phones. Amazing, isn't it?

Classes

This morning, I made an effort to get to Europe's Capital Cities class on time. As it's been about three weeks since I've been there on time, and I missed two classes, I felt that I really should make more of an effort. I went to bed early - around 12:30 and then I got up at 6 to study for today's quiz. I gave up around 8 and got ready for class and left at 8:30, arriving 10 minutes early. How is it that if I leave at 8:40 I'm always 10 minutes late? Odd, isn't it? I think I've just finally reached the end of my endurance and some sleep was due.
For site, we went to Nine Mile Run. Professor Christine managed to fit 11 of us in her van. She joked that she'd better not get in an accident because killing a quarter of the class would probably get her fired. I thought that was quite amusing. At Nine Mile Run, a fascinating speaker lady took us on a tour. She was extremely enthusiastic about the restoration of the place, and told us all about the river. For example, definitely don't touch the water, because anything that was in the city sewers does not in fact go to a treatment plant. It just goes right into the river - so if you're walking your dog and you pick up the poop, don't put that into a storm drain, because it's just going to come out somewhere just as inconvenient as the roadside. Speaking of dog poop, just about everyone in our class managed to step on some at some point during the tour.
After studio, I ran a few errands and picked up my kids' homeworks. Many late ones, tsk tsk. I also handed in my time card, and slept through enviro, woke up with a headache. Guess I deserved that for sleeping in class.
And in studio, Kellen and Adam made an art installation using our studio stools and fancy lighting. Somehow they managed to balance about 10 stools on a 2x4 so it's completely suspended in the air. There was a prospective student visiting and I told them they should go and take a peek at the awesome exhibit. After studio, I found out the Adam and Kellen had caught a Sphinx moth. They're really, really large, but very pretty. People were most surprised that I didn't scream like a sissy and instead said, "Whoooooaaaa! COOOOL!" My reasoning was that it was in the make-shift chicken wire cage, so I knew it couldn't fly into my face. They are feeding it on apple juice. I'm not sure how long it will live on that. People were worried they were dead, but I seem to recall that after dying, moths loose the brilliant colors they have. It was standing in such a way, though, that seemed to say that it wants desperately to get out. Maybe we should have made a cage for the praying mantis too...except it probably would have snipped through the chicken wire...

Sissies, all of them

This weekend was spent working like a crazy person in studio. On Wednesday afternoon, we were assigned the "Midsemester Sketch Problem." In layman's terms, it means we're supposed to do a month and a half's worth of work in four measly days. I started planning on Thursday, finalized on Friday, didn't sleep at all on Friday night and continued late into Saturday. I hate to admit it, but I was working that hard mostly because I wanted to be able to spend time with my boyfriend (and my parents think that having a boyfriend would be bad for my work ethic...). I did most of everything, and left with the boyfriend, had fun most of Sunday morning and realized around 3:30 that I really had to get my act together. Sadly, I only have two as opposed to three perspectives done (they were both done in less than ten minutes - me so proud). I was very surprised when I walked in around 9 that my desk only had a couple of Waz's things on it. I half expected Laura to have plopped all her junk on it, but Waz said that she thought most people were too afraid of me to mess with my area. Mwahhah, success. On a sad note, the bread I bought on Tuesday is moldy. As I was in studio the whole time, I never had a chance to eat it. Very sad. O yes, and on Friday night there was a high school football game going on in the stadium. The people there were horrifically enthusiastic and everytime they cheered, it felt like a pulsing wave of sickening happiness roaring through the studio. At one point, Waz and I at the exact same moment in the exact same tone said, "O, just shut up!" I said it again while walking back from Entropy with my big bottle of caffeine. It worked this time - I realized that it's no good if you gulp it all down at once and should rather just take a little at a time. And on Saturday night, Meredith wanted to eat her peach from Whole Foods and screamed like a sissy when she found an earwig peaking out of it. Then Ben (not my Ben, architecture Ben) picked up the peach and when the earwig moved, he screamed like a sissy too.
My room's a mess. I need to clean.

Bus Stop

Today, I accidentally overslept. After pulling near all-nighters everyday so far this week, I finally crashed.
I woke up blinky and confused around 11 am before looking at the clock, yelling an expletive and dashing out of bed. I decided that since I was late, I ought to try to catch a bus, as a bus takes only 2 minutes to get to campus whereas walking would take around 20. I should have walked.
After about 5 minutes of waiting, a fellow plopped down in the seat next to me. Then he asked me incoherently (very thick accent) which bus would take him to Monroeville. I shrugged. And then he kept talking. Where are you from? I say Connecticut. Obviously his English isn't very good because he somehow thought I said some foreign country. Then he said he was from Mexico and asked if I was Japanese. I didn't assume all Hispanic people are Mexican, but apparently he thinks all Asian people are Japanese. Granted a small portion of my family is Japanese, but I myself am not. So I shook my head and said very clearly, "Chinese." Then he pointed out that I have a very pretty figure. That's when I scooted farther away from him and closer to the nice old Asian man next to me (see? I don't assume all Asians are Japanese). Sadly Mr. Mexican didn't take the hint and kept trying to talk to me. "What's your name?" Angela. "O, it's pronounced Anjela in Mexico." I know. Then he started talking about a great Chinese buffet in Oakland. I hate Chinese buffets. I just nodded a bit and then fortunately the bus came. I should have walked to school.

That Feeling

Have you ever gotten that feeling during an all-nighter where you feel a coldness in you as the sun's just about to rise? I hate that feeling, it makes my muscles all weak and wibbly. Yes, wibbly. I'm going to sleep for an hour now. Good morning...

Conneaut

This weekend, I went with my Ben and his family to Conneaut. It was a wonderfully relaxing place where all I did was talk, sleep, cuddle with my bunny and grade papers. First night we were sitting around the fire with Ben's brother and his friends, and they decided they wanted to take the boat and go to some hick bar. We got in the boat, but unbeknownst to us, someone didn't refill the tank so we were stranded for a few tense minutes out in the middle of a very cold lake. One of the guys was quite drunk and made some lewd comment about me being the only girl on board, thus I would have to keep them all warm, and hoped I was limber. Ben was grossly offended. I'm just slightly disturbed.
The next day I spent some time grading papers and a lot of time napping. We had hoagies for lunch, and Ben's mom remembered I like fudge so she bought me some chocolate. Yummy. Dinner was pork and rice, yummy too. I had to get all the grading done, which took me a long time, and around 11, I finally got to go and see what Ben was up to. He, his brother and his friend were all around the fire again, so we all sat and talked. Everyone drank beers, I tried a little Mike's Hard Lemonade and decided the alcohol flavor wasn't pleasing, so I gave it away. Ben went to sleep a bit mellowed.
The next day was leaving day. Ben and I went down, ate breakfast and went back to bed. Right when everyone was leaving, we finally got up. Lazy, I am. Hope they don't think too badly of me... Since it was Ben's older brother's birthday, we stopped by his house where we saw a gigantic spider and a stick bug, as well as some of the biggest dogs in the world. It's funny, because when I first met Ben, I was scared to death of dogs. I don't mind them so much now, though jumpy ones still kind of make me nervous. At his brother's house were the two dogs we brought - Bo the Boxer and Corby the collie mix puppy, and his brother's dogs - Justin the German shepherd, Simon the golden lab and Maiza, not sure what she is, and then there was Ben's brother's mother-in-law's dog, Murphey the Irish terrier. It was fun to watch them running around, particularly Corby since she's such a wimp. I sat with Simon for a while, he's very old and slow and likes it when I scratch his ears. I like to pet a dog who sits still so we were both happy.
After that it was back home I go, where work and dance awaited. One of the dances involved horse stance for half an hour and boy did that kill. It's funny how I refuse to use the discipline to stay that way when it comes to martial arts, but when it's dance, I don't even think about the pain. Must have something to do with my mentality. I just know that right now, my thighs are killing me. Pretty soon I'm going to be trying out for Lunar Gala dance. I hope I get in - one of my choreographers for Dancer's Symposium is also choreographing this year, so maybe I'll have a chance. Four dances plus dance class, I feel fit already.

DC

This past weekend, I was in Washington D.C. On the first day, we went to the NCCP (or was it NCPC?). They're the ones that figure out where monuments go. It was kind of boring and though they talked about the memorials a bit, they spent most of it talking about what they do. When they asked if anyone had any questions, well only the teachers do. I think urban planning is still out of most of our realms, and also, most of us haven't been in D.C. since junion high, so we don't know what to ask about. I mentioned later to our teacher that I thought it would have been better to go to that place last, and she told us that in past years, the speakers would always go into detail about the memorials, but this year they only mentioned them briefly. Afterwards, I went around the western end of the mall with Waz, Ken and BKish. The Roosevelt Memorial I think, is truly an impressive memorial and a pleasant place to be. We took a lot of photos around the giant scotty dog. We went there, the Jefferson Memorial, up to the WWII memorial then to the Vietnam Memorial and then to the Korean Memorial. By then, my poor bladder was dying of overload, so I sounded the alert and we headed back to the hotel (it was already 8pm by then anyway). For the evening, we went to Georgetown with Hannah and her friend who wanted to wander. While walking there, I recalled my friend Christina transfered to Georgetown - except I couldn't call her with my nifty new cell phone because I had no internet connection and therefore could not look up her number. Very sad...It's been years since I last saw her.
After a day of walking, we weren't so much interested in wandering as in eating. We ended up eating at Unos. We were seated at the table at the highest spot of the restaurant, which was pretty cool. We ordered around 9:30 and got our food around 10-ish. I threatened Ken while we were waiting that if the food wasn't there by 10, I'd have to gnaw on his arm. He said that Kish was probably tastier, to which I said Kish was hairier. Ken's reply was handing me the butter knife. Fortunately for both of them, the food arrived in a timely fashion. The table was completely silent for a good 20 minutes while we gobbled down everything on our plates.
The second day was the work day. I spent all day drawing the Korean Memorial and in the process got burned like a lobster. At 4, I went with a few classmates to meet everyone at the National Building Museum, which is supposedly just on the other side of the mall. It turned out to be on the other side along with seven extra blocks. After an hour of walking, I was very unhappy and my back is now brown. Not my front, not my legs, not my arms. Just my back. I hope it goes away soon. After our meeting it was off to Union Square to meet Stef's cousin. He hadn't seen her in about ten years and we were tempted to line up all the little asian girls (there were four of us) and have him pick her out of the lineup. Sadly, it didn't happen. We ate at Capitol City (a microbrewery - I don't think her cousin realized we were all underage) where Cathy had the most delicious desert ever. Then, we tried to get to Georgetown before all the stores closed. Sadly, we only made it in time to glance through FCUK and the United Colors of Benetton. Waz didn't get to go to Urban Outfitters for her flask...After that we just went back to the hotel where we all sat up talking for a while.
Day three was awesome. We all got up early and slept all the way to Mount Vernon. We got free tickets to go on the boat tour which was at 10:30 leaving about 30 minutes to kill. I wandered through the craft tents and there were perfect pewter Jeffersonian cups that I would love to buy, except they were $25 a cup. Maybe when I'm rich. As it is, I bought some really nice handmade soaps - bug hater's bar (lemongrass scent), Grapefruit Tea, Peppermint Citrus, Cinnamon Oatmeal and Spiced Lime. I can't wait to use them, but for now, they're freshening up my bedroom (Ben commented the other day that the whole apartment smelled funky, except my room - I thank the soaps). The boat tour was just like 8th grade, except this time around, everyone forced me to slather myself with sunscreen. I don't know if it did any good, I know I did get ever so slightly redder. By the time the tour was done, I had literally an hour and a half to find a place, make my documentation and meet up with everyone. I speed walked most of the plantation and ended up sitting in a shade at the slave memorial. At first it was just me and Hannah drawing quietly (interrupted at one point by an annoyingly loud and shrill little girl) and then a bunch of classmates who were done came by and decided to take a nap by me. Guess I just exude sleepiness... We all went to eat lunch at the Mt. Vernon restaurant afterwards. There was chicken, summer squash and mashed potatoes - very yummy. I ended up sitting next to the third year coordinator, Christine, who commented that we were the most punctual group she's ever taken on the trip (I like to think we're just hungrier than other groups). After lunch, we went to Dunbarton Oaks, which I decided would be a great place to get married. Not that I'm looking to get married anytime soon, mind you. Still, it's a beautifully designed garden. I ended up sitting under the bright sun again, on a ledge overlooking the fountain terrace (I just happened to like the only restricted area) drawing pretty flowers. Christine came up behind me at one point and said I picked a good spot. It feels like the trip was over way too soon. We hopped on the bus and headed back to campus, and I got to hang out with Ben for a little while.
O yes, and they picked my watercolors as one of the sets to show the NAAB people. Yay!

Sleep is for the Weak

Congratulate me. I pulled my first all nighter of third year. The last time I pulled a true all nighter like this was second semester of first year. That didn't happen until we were at least a month and a half into things. That's how wonderful my life is. Tuesday was Enviro - group project(group of four). Today, or rather, tomorrow for me, is Studio - group project(group of two). Tomorrow, day-after-tomorrow or Thursday is Site - group project(group of three). Due to slackers, I couldn't even finish Enviro until 4 am on Monday. Then, with our extended Enviro class today, we couldn't start studio till 10pm. And now it's 8am. I'm going to go shower. Life sucks. Martyrdom is all there is.

Dance!

I had a horrible tryout on Saturday. It was bad. The dance was more hip hoppy than I would have liked. On the upside, I got into three dances, one of which I never thought I would. On the downside, I didn't get into the one that I really, really wanted. That's got me sort of down. O well, maybe next year.
On this semester's menu, we have one quirky Abby dance, one awesome Jess hip hop dance and one studio jazzy Kelly dance which looked fun in a high school dance team way. Still a little hurt Steph didn't want me. I did see a lot of super ballerina-like girls this year, so I guess all the ones she picked were freshmen. I don't think she'd pick friends, she's very professional about that. Most other choreographers only pick friends though. I suppose it's refreshing that she picks those who can best handle it. Still, I kind of wish I got a chance at it. I think I've definitely improved since spring, a lot about not worrying so much about the look and worrying more about the stretch, since stretching is what gives you the energy to bring motions through to completion. I wonder when Dancer's Light is auditioning...

Which Do You Want First? The Good or Bad News?

I'll save the good news for last and tell you the bad news first. It isn't really that bad, more like an annoyance, a bad ending to an otherwise great day. I was all set and ready to drift off into the land of deep slumber when my cell phone rings. Fancy that, someone is calling me. So I answered and someone with a fake Indian accent starts telling me that I won $200 and that I should give him my social security number and no, it's not studio, it's just his parents like to laugh. Haha, thanks for waking me up Kiko. Nice of you to lend him your phone just for the occasion, Ben Saks. Always appreciate ruining a good nine hours of sleep for a laugh at my expense.
On the good side, the studio drawing of our section looks fabulous. Mine is so-so next to Josh's and Waz's. I should have used their methods for drawing trees. Darn. Also on a good note, my Ben went to a job interview today. He hasn't heard from them yet, although the lady said, "I see no reason why you wouldn't get hired." It sounds like an awesome job, and he gets out of work at 3:30-ish so I get to still have time to hang out with him. Yay!

Trees

This week, I spent more time outdoors than I have in my entire life. Well, that's what it feels like anyway. Studio this semester is very much landscape architecture, so we have to go out and learn about trees and why we're supposed to love them. On Tuesday I hiked up to Chatham (couple miles from campus, all uphill) and had to pick out an area to document. Then my classmates and I went out to Schenley Park to document our areas for studio. On Friday, we went to both places yet again, though the trip was a little more fruitful this time. On Saturday, I was at Ben's house and I was regaling him with my adventures in the wild. I suppose he decided that since I spent all week in the woods, I wouldn't mind taking a look around his woods. I don't mind so long as its bug free, but sadly it wasn't and I'm totally covered in mosquito bites. Oddly, not a one bothered Ben. How does he do it? He said, "I think you'll like it a lot better, honey, when everything's dead." How right he is.
Saturday with Ben was very nice. His parents were up at Conneaut closing up the cottage so it was just us and the dogs. His parents bought a collie/lab/retriever mix and she's only about six weeks old. Very small, very adorable, very tiny bladder. She peed all over the house. It's amazing how she has perfect bladder control when we're outsides, but the moment we let her in, she pees. It makes Ben very upset. I got paranoid towards evening, and everytime I didn't see her in the room, I'd go look for her just to see if she had ruined yet another portion of the carpet. On a nice note, I found that just sitting in the back patio with Ben and watching the dogs is very peaceful and satisfying. I think I enjoyed that even more than driving around and watching movies.

The Cleanliness of Man

Everything's starting to come together here in Pittsburgh. The homework is starting to pile on, I now have internet, all my furniture is put together, if not quite organized, and pretty soon, I will have tastefully neutral curtains hanging on the openings. I spent all evening working on my room, finishing around 9:30 and talking with Ben for an hour. Then I spent the rest of the evening cleaning the kitchen. I always thought of myself as relatively messy, but today, I met the true kings of messiness. The nice thing about my apartment is that when the people who lived here before us left, they also left behind a lot of furniture and utensils. While I like most of the furniture (my desk is both hideous and uncomfortable at the moment, but that's my only furniture related complaint), the kitchen things were...lacking. We brought our own pots and pans, so in reality, we didn't need anything at all. What we got was a cabinet filled with about ten pens, three pots and miscellaneous other things. After Christi pulled a crud-covered Foreman Grill out of the cabinet, she decided to go no further, and up until today, it remained the cabinet of disgusting, stomach curdling ickiness. And then I had free time and a strong urge to clean and polish.
Today I learned just how disgusting college boys can be. I can understand a fleck of food here and there, accidentally left on the pan. I can understand a heap of dirty pans in a sink. What I find absolutely incomprehensible is putting the pan away while it's still dirty. Four of the pans were covered in so many layers of food and grease that I couldn't even figure out if it was teflon coated or not (as in, can I use the brillo pad to scrape away all the gunk?). After serious debate and consultation from Christi, we decided that by the time I brilloed all the gunk away, there would be nothing left of the surface of the pan. In the trash they go. It makes me wonder what condition their scrambled eggs were in after using those pans...It makes me wonder how they didn't all die from food poisoning...
I also found a very old, 70s-esque waffle maker complete with the crummy leftovers from the last time our former tenants made breakfast with it. Year old waffle crumbs...yummmm... I couldn't figure out how to wash it without damaging the electronics (apparently, neither did they) so I opted to toss that too. I topped it all off with a liberal scrubbing of the kitchen floor and a splash of antibacterial. If that doesn't work, I don't know what will...

Internetless

I have no internet! It's driving me crazy! We tried to set up the router today, but the computer is being stupid, and the router is being stupid. It's a huge conflageration of anger and frustration and I feel like murdering daddy-dearest.
I need internet...

Mommying

Today I was almost like a mommy. May and Daddy went out at around 10 am to get May's furniture from Ikea. We didn't hear anything at all from them until they got home, less than half an hour ago. By that time, Mom and I had been sitting with the phone nigh on an hour, waiting to hear from them, calling all the relatives in the area. When they finally got home, I told May we called A-Bei, Shu shu, her landlord, two of her roomies, as well as the Chinese restaurant they usually go to and a friend of mom's who lives over there. Over and over. Like an angry mother.
O yes, and daddy hit a tree with the car we borrowed...oops...

Picky Panda

Today was nice. I hung out All day with Marlen. We went to Denny's at 10:30 and then hung out at my house until 11 p.m. We chatted in the living room, we chatted on the stairs, my sister's room, the kitchen. We talked about her brothers, my boyfriend, our families, mutual acquaintances, classmates. We talked more about movies and books, ideas in general. We coined a new phrase after the species that won't screw to save their species - "Picky Panda." We had her try more Chinese cooking, loquat syrup (great for soar throats)and pound cake. Oh yes, we made some smashingly good pound cake, today. Hopefully her brother won't eat it all this time. Just in case, she has the recipe. I do wish I call and hang out more with her often. Somehow there never seems to be time. I'm either too far away or I just don't have time. It was so much easier way back in high school. Must learn to drive eventually so I don't have to beg rides off the parentals...
Something I felt bad about today. Daddy's been in a sad mood lately. I think he realizes he procrastinated too long, so now he has no Honda CRV. May needs the Toyota for school, Mom needs her Toyota for work, and Dad needs his Honda for work. Unfortunately, he only ordered the Honda a couple weeks ago despite May's badgering him all summer. He also knew what he wanted from the get go so it's not like he had a big decision to make. Cell phones also (yes, we're actually getting them). The cells won't get in till Friday, and being that I'm leaving on Thursday at 7 am, I won't be there to get my phone, and thus, daddy's going to have to send it to me via mail. Today daddy went and borrowed my uncle's car. It's a gas guzzling tank, but we need it to get everything from Ikea. May and daddy have to take all that stuff to her new apartment and assemble it. I hope he doesn't hurt his back in the process...

Good bye, New York

Today was my last day of work. It makes me very sad to think that I won't be seeing Nestor or Jonathan for a very, very long time. They took me out to lunch at a relatively expensive restaurant with Amazing food. I had some sort of salmon on some sort of rice with some sorts of vegetables on all of it. It was wonderful and perfect and $20. Well worth it. Can't wait to be rich some day so I can afford food like that more often. I got them both pottery because I only give people I like very much pottery. Nestor gave me his card holder because I kept playing with it and he probably felt he needed to give me something, even though he already bought me lunch. Now if only I had some business cards...
I do wish I managed to make some friends. Being the workaholic that I am, I can't really make friends with people outside of the workplace. The few girls near my age in the office are very very different from me, so I ended up being alone pretty much the whole time. I look at the list of bookmarks the other interns left, and I feel like a bad architect because there's all these sites that list what exhibits are going on where, what shows are good, all sorts of cultural things. I guess I just lack the curiosity to go out...
Still, there were thing that I have learned during my stay in the city:
1) Egg creams are neither eggy nor creamy. Sadly, it is just seltzer with some chocolate or vanilla ice cream and a bit of syrup for extra flavoring.
2) Museums are expensive. O sure, a lot of them call it "donations," but you feel like some horrible cheapskate if you don't pay. I have to work on losing my soul before I go visit one again so they can't guilt me into paying a penny.
3) This world is filled with dirty old men. I pretend to not notice their cat-calls and they pretend that they're their sons' ages.
4) That sugary smell in the streets comes from the peanut stands. The peanuts, sadly, don't taste nearly as good as they smell. But then, I've never liked peanuts.
7) Contemporary furniture is awesome. Looking around ABC Co. is awesome, and shopping there in stilettos is quite all right because you can sit on the furniture.
9) Visit parents are great until you realize mom's walked off with your floss.
10) Knocking is a skill foreign to many New Yorkers. Fortunately, the lock on the bathroom door is very sturdy.
11) The view out my window is the Empire State Building. The one on 42nd Street with the sunburst pattern is the Chrysler Tower. For some reason I always thought it was the other way around. Shows you how great an architect I'm going to be...
Well, tomorrow I'll be going home. I have to start packing. My sister is at an Anime convention with friends, but when she comes back, we're all going to Todai. Japanese buffet...yummmm.

Complaints

The imperceptability(is that a word?) of men: I got my hair cut yesterday. It was shoulder length before, and now it's above my ears. Today my boss came in and spent half an hour going over things with me. Then he went to lunch, returned and mulled around for another few hours before tentatively asking me, "Did you get a haircut?" Well, it's only about eight inches shorter than it has been for the past week. Yes, Jonathan, I did in fact get a significant amount of my hair lopped off this weekend. At least Keith came back from vacation and noticed it. After loudly declaring how nice it was, John finally noticed and said, o, it's shorter? It's not like I had butt-length trimmed to back-length hair. It's much more significant!
The futility of mani/pedis: After months of watching Sex & the City, I finally decided to try a manicure and pedicure. The process of getting them is great, I got to sit in a massage chair, and my feet were soaked and the nice lady got rid of the calluses on my feet. Of course what mani/pedi is complete without nail polish? So I got some pale color that isn't too obvious. I sort of suspected I'd ruin everything in less than ten minutes. Sure enough, I have nicks and scratches all over my nails now. O well, who cares. My calluses are gone. Not quite worth the $35 though, so I doubt I'll ever get any of those done again.
The profusion of admirers: I always thought that at least in Flushing, I'd blend in enough that no one would notice me. No one ever noticed me there, before, why should they start now? But no, when May and I went to the TenRen Tea House on Sunday, the guy at the counter was definitely flirting with me, and then when we were heading back to Main Street to find Mom and Daddy, one of those annoying people with the fliers called me "zhen piao liang de xiao jie," which means "such a pretty young lady." To which I made a very disgusted noise which he didn't hear and hurried May along. It's amazing how just a year ago I was craving that attention and now it makes me horribly disturbed and annoyed. May told me the other day that she was watching a television show where a woman went to France and had a total and complete stranger who didn't even so much as make eye contact with her ran his hand up her inner leg almost all the way up under her skirt and just continue on his merry way. Must remember never to wear a skirt in Europe. Also must work on spitting skills.

Charlie Horse

I have the great honor of having two Charlie Horses all at the same time. One in each calf muscle so I can't flex my feet without them pulling. Which means I have to gimp around everywhere. I feel like a penguin...
Yesterday, my aunt and uncle as well as my aunt's parents decided to go over to the apartment. They never let me know that so I didn't really clean up. Not that I'm particularly messy - my roommates will testify to the fact that I wash the dishes everyday. I do have a bad habit of leaving my clothes all over the place. Yesterday morning when I was leaving for work, I cleared all my clothes out from my dance bag and left it in a little heap by the entry thinking no one comes over, and therefore, no one will care. How wrong I was. I can only wonder what they thought when they noticed clothes right by the door...

Otherworld

Have you ever wondered what would have happened if you picked a different path in life? What if I took the easier road and applied to engineering school? What if I went to MIT or Cornell or some other ivy leaguer instead of CMU? I had a strange dream last night where I took back a decision I made a year ago. I woke up very disturbed, and what's most annoying is that the only two things I can remember from the dream is that I didn't like it and what decision I changed. I think this has something to do with Mom nagging me on the phone yesterday about how I should go work in a civil engineering firm next summer. I told her no, of course. I had everything I needed to go and be a great engineer and go to practically any school I wanted, but obviously there's a reason why I chose to go to architecture school instead.
Also, I just read in the newspaper that there's a little puppy dog in Korea named Snuppy. Snuppy is the first cloned dog in the world. Snuppy. Snoopy? Nope, Snuppy.
O yes and last night at 11:30, just as I was about to enter REM, my boyfriend woke me up because he was upset and needed to talk. Apparently his brother and sister-in-law went to get a check up on their baby and the stupid technician lady told them the baby would be born with down syndrome because she had calcification around her heart. If I recall biology class correctly, down syndrome happens when a baby's DNA gets double the information its supposed to get, so basically, from the moment of conception a baby either has down syndrome or doesn't. I don't know too much about babies, though... Well, we'll find out soon enough. The doctor told them that that was no indication at all whether or not the baby has down syndrome. I wonder what that technician was thinking, and can't she get fired for making up things that traumatize future mothers? I don't think their even authorized to make that sort of diagnosis...

Gramma's Hands

Today was a pretty nice day. I woke up at 11:30 and at 12:30, I went with Gramma to my favorite Flushing restaurant - roughly transalated, it's "South North River." We had deep fried crullers, soy milk and beef noodle soup. Yum! Afterwards, Gramma wanted to just walk around a bit, so I suggested we explore the stores going up Roosevelt since we both always walk past them and never enter. One store sold home goods - mugs for $1, plates for $2, relatively cheap furniture. Another store sold accessories. All the girls that worked in there were Japanese and they kept following us around telling us about the 20% discount on all purses. Gramma bought me a nice new bag to put my sketchbook in, and with the discount, it was $9.50. Then we looked at a store that was filled with lingerie and Gramma-esque clothing, except the sound system was blasting Shakira. I don't think Gramma appreciated the choice of music. Then we went home and sat around a bit, reading and napping. Then we made jiao zi (dumplings). Hundreds of them. Gramma's hands have been giving her a lot of trouble. Since she usually complains no one pays much attention. Today she told me she split the skin just under her index finger open this morning, right where she grips the knife when she chops things for cooking - I told her she should wash dishes less because it makes her hands too dry. After dumpling making, she amazingly let me wash the dishes. Then we sat around all day some more and then she started making dinner. While she did that, I fixed the string thing that makes the shades open and close with the use of my trusty paperclip. Right before dinner, she was talking about how much her hands hurt and I told her she ought to put some anti-bacterial ointment on it and a bandaid, since all her fiddling around rubs it off. So she went and put on some ointment and I insisted I help with the bandaid.
And then I realized what horrible condition her hands were in. For the most part, her hands were whispery dry and badly in need of lotion. The lower half of her left index finger, front and back, as well as a sizable portion of her palm is covered in blisters. Not like the normal big puffy ones. There were hundreds, and they were all below the skin and the way her skin was torn away makes me think that not very much is keeping the top layer of skin attached to the rest of her hand. I'm not sure what it is, but it looks more like some sort of extreme eczema. Needless to say, I had trouble eating dinner. She said that she got it recently, and it comes and goes. But it's always just in that one spot. Which has me profoundly worried. So, under the pretense of asking about my sister's fabulous new living quarters, I called daddy and explained about Gramma's hands in English so she wouldn't be worried and I told him just how worried I was. I think he got a bit of an idea of how much this is bothering me, so he promised he'd look at it tomorrow. I really think she should go consult a dermatologist.

Walking

On one hand, living with Gramma sucks because she feeds me too much and I get fat. On the other, her food is yuuuummy. I also think it's nice that I get to talk to her. I wonder if May or any of my other cousins ever really talk to her. I know Jon does, occasionally, but recently Gramma's been a tad upset with him because he spoke rudely to her (which goes completely against our upbringing involving "Xiao," a.k.a. filial piety). I wonder if I should mention that to him or just keep my nose where it belongs.
In order to try to lose all the fat I've gained from all the good eating, I'm walking around more. Instead of taking the subway down two stops, I'll walk from 27th St and Broadway to 18th and 5th. I really like it once I get past 23rd St. Something about the people above that and below 33rd get me really nervous. I think its the fact that when I walk by, I get a "how you doin?" or a "hey, what up?" and occasionally a "hey, asian!" or "hey, Chinese!" Yes, I'm asian. Yes, I'm Chinese. I'm well aware of the fact. Now get out of my face.
Still, the more I'm here, the more uncomfortable I feel about it. At first it was flattering, no one besides by boyfriend ever notices me in CMU. Here, it's everywhere, and I when I go out for lunch, I find myself practically running back to the office to hide. I even rolled my eyes yesterday when a whole group of guys started whistling. For the most part, though, my eyes stay on my feet, I think less people notice me that way.
Still, it is nice that some people notice me...

Long Lost Cousin

Mom randomly called me today at work. Apparently while in deep discussion with my uncle, she found out that I have a distant cousin also attending CMU. She's half English, half chinese, came from Hong Kong and is studying chemistry and history. She's also super skinny and way prettier than I could ever hope to be... I also neglected to tell mom that she was holding up a pink sign that very clearly read, "SEX!"
I've never met her, but we seem to know similar people. I'm not one to hang out with that particular crowd - probably why I've never met her. It'd be strange to meet her one day and say, "Hey, you're my sort of cousin!" And then everyone will give me funny looks while I try to explain the distance of the relationship. I'll bet she'll never guess.
I think one day, my fear of marrying anyone asian will be founded. I'll be about to walk down the aisle when an uncle will step up and say, "Angela, sweetie, I have something to tell you. That man is your cousin." Well heck, I don't even know who half of my family is and I already work around toxic chemicals. Why marry an asian guy and make the risk of having demented babies higher?
On another note, I had to tell the poor girl who was going to move in that she couldn't. If she'd only been a few days faster in signing the sublease, she could've had the place. But now she can't, and I feel terrible... At least Christi didn't seem to mind too much...

LIAR

Guess what? You'd never guess it! Mummy called Adria today (I can't because if I ever hear her voice again, I'll murder her - sniper rifle atop Cyert and everything) and she said that they don't have enough room in housing and they'd like me to leave!!! That lying B****!
So now I have to tell poor Helene that I'm kicking her out because I'm moving back in and completely reorganize Christi's life and basically turn all her efforts into time wasted.
O well...at least I get a room to myself.

Long Weekend

I'm home again this weekend. Mostly because several families of cousins are over at Grandma's apartment this weekend. I think I've got pretty much all of my stuff put away so it's not too bad.
Working in New York makes me really really wish that I'd end up going to school there. So darn close, darn it. But then, I really like certain parts of CMU. I really like how we don't have some sort of scary feral competition going on between the archies like I hear they do up in Cornell. I like the way the teachers are teaching things. I like how Pittsburgh's a city, and yet not really, so I can still get around and still have relative quiet when I want to sleep - that is, of course, if I ever manage to drown out all those noisy neighbors. Pittsburgh also has actual houses, unlike most of New York. I think that "when I grow up," I really want a house. One that I design. An apartment is great, sure, but you're still designing in a box. I think I'd like to go somewhere, find a disgusting little raised ranch, knock it down until no one can recognize it and resurrect it as something just as efficient and much more original in every which way.
Speaking of architecture, mommy dearest found the most interesting little architectural magazine called Dwell Magazine, which features modernist architecture and design. I quite like it. If it's still around "when I grow up" then I think I'll subscribe to it. As it is, I was looking at magazine subscriptions online, and they really aren't so expensive. Maybe when I have a stable year round address, I'll subscribe to a few.
Top picks for design related magazines include in no particular order:
1) Dwell magazine ($2.50 a copy w/ subscription)
2) Metropolis magazine ($2.50 a copy w/ subscription)
3) W magazine ($1.40 a copy w/ subscription)
4) Architectural Record ($4+ a copy w/ subscription)
5) Interior Design ($4+ a copy w/ subscription)
Those last two are pretty expensive - I think I'd have to wait till I was really, really "grown up" to get them.
O yes, and as you can tell, I've been thinking lots about adulthood. As an adult who makes her own money, shouldn't I technically be allowed to go where I want so long as I use my own money? My parents seem to feel that as "an adult," I still have no say in how I can run my own life and that I'm still too young and naive to know what I'm doing. Financially, I completely agree - boy have I botched a few things up, and I don't even know where to begin when it comes to taxes. But the whole thing about where I am and what I'm doing, who I go out with, who my friends are, shouldn't that be my choice? It's not like I've blown off school to go smoke and drink with the worst of them...

Tripe

In today's newspaper, I found out that the Bolivian equivalent of the WWF is very different. Whereas the US WWF is consisted of disturbingly buff men with shaved heads, grimacing with their veins popping out of their bullnecks, the Bolivian WWF consists of very healthy sized women, resplendant in braids, pumps and national garb of shawls and skirts. I think I'd watch that, just because it's always interesting to watch properly dressed ladies beat on each other...maybe not...
So this week has been very leisurely, as compared to last week where I worked way past 6 everyday. I've left pretty consistently on time this week. Well, I left around 7 on Tuesday. I stopped by my boss's apartment to drop off his laptop and tape measured. I got to see the apartment which previously only existed in blueprints, and got to meet the wife that calls every so often. She's very into different cultures - I asked her a bunch of things about Italy and she asked me a bunch of things about Chinese culture. Most of my answers might be somewhat off, since my parents aren't exactly what people call traditional Chinese parents. Talking about Chinese culture made Lauren want Chinese food, so we ordered Szechuan. Or rather, they wanted to see what real Chinese people would order, so they had me pick. I must say, that's some good Szechuan food - I have to ask them the location so I can drag my dad and my sister over. Real spicy stuff, I drank a ton of water. And the best part is they weren't shy about trying really different foods, so I ordered the ox tongue and tripe, which mom and dad always get, and the ma po tofu which we sometimes get. If I wanted to go all out and get wierd wierd food, I'd have ordered duck tongue except 1) I don't eat it, 2) I doubt they would either, and 3) it wasn't on the menu.
And then I took my first lone cab ride ever, all the way back home. The cab driver drove quite nicely and we chatted real estate. An aspiring grocery store owner, Fa-something-or-other got a 15% tip and a good luck before I practically sprinted back to the apartment at 11:30 at night.
And then I talked to Ben until 2 am. And then I overslept the next morning by two hours. And last night Ben called at 11:30 and we talked until 12:30. I really must stop staying up so late...

Books!

This is the first time in god knows how long that my books were overdue. Fortunately, it was only by a couple days. I didn't really register that July 16 was Saturday. Oops.
I also didn't realize that the library is closed Sundays, so I didn't get to take out any more books. Which led me to walk all the way to Barnes and Nobles to buy myself a couple more fantasy novels. Speaking of fantasy novels, I hate to say it, but I feel awfully ashamed of myself because they seem to be the only things I really read. Occasionally I read something else. Just recently, I read "A Picture of Dorian Gray." But in a way, that's almost like a fantasy novel, except the speech and mannerisms are horrifically old fashioned. And I felt annoyed by Dorian because he sounded like a petulant little brat the whole time. I couldn't even imagine him as a good looking guy, which is what he's supposed to be. Extraordinarily handsome in fact. But like I said, all he seemed to do the whole novel was whine and pine and guilt people into doing things. Still, the overall story was quite interesting. If I felt more like engaging my mind, I could do a whole English paper on it. Or, I could just pick up my usual mindless sci-fi/fantasy novels.
On the way to the Barnes & Nobles, I happened to notice my semi-co-worker walking sort of next to me. We talked a couple times and he seems nice. We've established the non-attracted part of our "relationship" already as he has his fiancee and I have my bunny - ahem, boyfriend. Today, I learned half his name. The rest of it got lost with the sounds of traffic. So his name is either Mark, Martin or Marvin. I keep leaning towards Martin, but I am not positive. I'll have to surreptitiously ask Michelle, whose name I had forgotten until I heard the little old lady of the office call for her by name. So, yes, I'm bad with names. Well, not really. I'm just a bit hard of hearing and too polite to ask people to repeat themselves. Must work on that.
Anyway, on the way to the bookstore, Mark/Martin/Marvin suggested that I read "Devil in the White City" or something along those lines. For some reason, my brain interpreted it as "Demon in the City Lights." I really, really need to work on my listening. Anyhoo, I looked the book up online, and it's about the Chicago Worlds Fair in the 1800s. Apparently some psycho pretended to be a doctor and ended up murdering a whole bunch of people. It's a true occurrence, though I don't doubt the author probably dressed the whole shabang up a bit to give it a bit more of a..well..bang. It sounded interesting enough, so I looked at the library catalog, and what do you know, Danbury has eight copies. Woohoo!
But until then, I'll be reading my "Royal Assassin."

Commentary

Reading the news has turned me into a horrible blogger in that I read something and I want to talk about it. Terrible, terrible blogger I am. But then, there's nothing to read, as I'm out of books and the library's closed tomorrow, so I must read the paper and write boring blogs until the Harry Potter craze is over and I'm no longer afraid to approach the nearest Barnes & Nobles.
Today's reading (I do wish I read more in the art section, but it just doesn't catch my attention as much as things that have to do with social issues) included a very disturbing article, a link I won't include since I just read Maddox's rant about how people who put links in their blogs are stupid. I've only put in links once anyway, when my friend showed me a site about a horrifically ignorant college out in redneck territory (and yes, if they're that ignorant, I will call them rednecks). Er...drifted again. Well, the article is about an organization called Love in Action, which is a "Christian" organization down in Memphis where gay teens are sent in order to be reformed into "normal" functioning heterosexuals. From what I gather, it doesn't work. People come out just as they always were, or they're so emotionally distraught from the experience that they end up asexual and alone. Maybe one person came out with the intended results and he's running the place now. The article had a link to a myspace blog, a gay teen whose username is "specialkid" who recently stepped out of his closet and into the nightmare. His parents up and told him that he was a horrible person and they raised him wrong, and they took away all of his things, and now, he's currently finishing up being brainwashed at the camp or whatever they do there. Of course, a lot of people are outraged - I know I am. Even my mom was when I told her about it - "Those are very stupid parents" is a direct translation of what her opinion is.
And of course, my usual pessimism springs up and whispers to me, "What if they succeeded in changing him? Then all of this will be for nothing." I think I'll just ignore her for now and see what happens first.
Either way, my opinion (for those that actually care) is that if a person believes he's what he is, then we should let him be. Everyone has a reason for being what they are. And look, it's not like he's a homicidal maniac, he just has..a different expression of love.
Maybe I should stop reading the paper. All it seems to do is upset me and make me write terribly because there are just too many things that need to be said and all that comes out is garbled.

Freedom!

Finally, I can relax. This whole entire week seemed to be spent at work - I leave the apartment at 8 and I leave work at 8, practically everyday. Now that Nestor's in Texas, things are a little more relaxed as his minions over there are doing all the work now. I still find myself looking around expecting more documents to magically appear and demand to be worked on. We'd better win that competition, or else I'm going to have to fly down to Hendersonville where heads will roll. Well, not really.
Still, something I realized from all of this - well, more of an affirmation rather than epiphany. I really love architecture. I actually have a bit of a say in the design process so I think that I'm somewhere in the realm of close to what it will be like to be an architect and it's just awesome. The professors really don't realize - it's not that we don't love architecture, it's that all the other classes bog us down so much that we can't enjoy it to it's fullest extent. O and Sol Lewitt's work is being exhibited in a gallery a couple of blocks over from my office. I'm going to go check it out on a lunch break next week. Fun!
--
So, I just got back from getting lunch - today it's Japanese beef curry. It's a lot stronger than I thought it would be, smell-wise. I hope no one yells at me for bringing it into the office. Something about Japanese curry, it tastes way better than Indian curry. And for $7, I get a hell of a portion. If I wasn't going on the train right after work, I'd bring the rest home for dinner. I'll compromise by thoroughly gorging myself.
Also, it's just insane how much attention I get in New York. I got hit on by no less than three people in 15 minutes (the time it took to buy lunch). I don't know what it is about New Yorkers, but they're a lot more...um...friendly than CMU students. I doubt most guys at CMU look twice at me. Or maybe there are just more desperate people in New York... O yes, and getting hit on makes me really really paranoid, but even my nervous/hostile glare doesn't seem to keep people from commenting.

Working

There's four more days till the first draft of our Hendersonville presentation is due. That's why we're in such a rush. That's why I worked all Sunday, and worked for a straight twelve hours yesterday (but overtime is glorious!). Pretty soon I'll have enough hours racked up that I can take another day or two off, and perhaps visit my Ben. I wonder if I should bother telling mom this time, since she forgot last time, despite my reminding her three times.
Today on the way to get lunch, I was standing at a stop light and saw the funniest/strangest thing. A lanky teenanger-looking fellow in black jeans, sort of torn, baggy but not too baggy in an annoying way, big floppy hair and a trashy black t-shirt sporting Van Halen or something on it. Sure not too strange, in the way on New York. What was really bizarre was that he was very enthusiastically playing air-guitar. He had his walkman, yes walkman, not discman, and those dinky little iPod earphones that let me hear the cacophony he was listening to, and there was the air guitar, complete with zealous riffs and unrestrained head banging. I wonder if he noticed how I ogled him as we crossed the street, but most likely he didn't, since he head-banged his way across.
On another note, I realized today that the odd voice I hear every morning isn't some guy yelling, "What's up, Freddy!" It's a short, old hispanic man yelling, "What's up, pretty!" at me. I should probably take a different route to the office from now on...

London

I just read the headline in the New York Times. A bunch of bombs went off during rush hour yesterday morning killing a whole bunch of people. It's sad that people would resort to this sort of stupidity. What was the whole point of it? If you make a demand, you make a demand. You don't punish people for things they didn't do, and you can't expect anyone to be able to read your mind and anticipate your wishes.
It sounds terribly selfish, but I hope no one does that here in NY, since I'm on the subway during rush hour, and I pass through all three major transportational hubs to get to work (Grand Central, Times Square and Penn Station).

Curious

Maya's so fun for silly things. I named this "Curious." So the question is, is the big happy sphere looking at a little fairy flying about? Or is he wondering why the nuclear power plant meltdown caused his acne to glow in the dark?

The Secret is Kertenkelellerimizde

Today and yesterday, my cousins visited. Lots of cousins. It's fun to hang out with cousins, most of them. It was fun right up until the point where I offered to put on "the Incredibles" being that I owned it since I spent $25 on it. And then my sister said, "O, I lent it to some other cousins." Cousins that don't make me so happy. Cousins who leave their CDs and DVDs lying out on the ground, face down, whether or not it belongs to them or that they're borrowing. These cousins don't make me too happy. The fact that my parents lent them the DVD doesn't make me too happy. The fact that when I asked them about it, and they had no recollection at all - that makes me REALLY unhappy. I really need to rescue my DVD as soon as possible. Why couldn't they just take, well, Center Stage or something? If they scratch that DVD, they're buying me a new one.
Today was still pretty fun though. Sylvie is reading the "His Dark MAterials" series, which I just finished reading too. I've been nagging May to read it, but as usual, she is ever resistent to any of my suggestions. I also helped with her morphology homework. I've decided that linguistics is lots and lots of fun, maybe I should take an introductory course of some sort after next semester, right between figure drawing and costume design. Today I think I figured out how, in Turkish, to say "to your friend," "in our lizards," and "it is in my little house." They might be, respectively, "dostine," "kertenkelellerimizde," and "zild3ikimdedir." Next round, Swahili!

Cheers

My new favorite drink in the whole wide world is Jones Organics White Tea: Strawberry. It isn't gritty like honest tea, and it tastes like tea and strawberries. I don't have to water it down. It only has 15g of sugar in a whole bottle, as opposed to most drinks which are about 30g. Coke, I thought, had it going on with Coke C2, till I realized that they attempt to replace the rest of the sugar with Splenda. Sure there's less real sugar, but now there's a yucky aftertaste. Really, when will all these companies realize that half the sugar tastes just as good, if not better?

Not Unique?!!

The other day, I came face to face with the discovery of another Angela H. Chi in this world. How? She found me on the Face Book. She is a biochem major in San Antonio Texas who is part of a sorority. One with lots and lots of pink. Fascinating, and yet somewhat disappointing to know that my name is not unique (but then, most people have at least one other person with their name in the world).
Anyway, I'm home for the weekend in happy, pretty smelling Danbury. I never thought I'd associate Danbury with "pretty smelling," but the moment I stepped into my house, I caught a whiff of fresh air and flowers and thought to myself, "I like this a lot better than city air." But then, city air consists of garbage and car exhaust and god knows what else.
Being at home also reminds me of my loneliness. I tried calling up a few old friends today, but they never answer the phone. I guess they're just too busy or can't remember who the heck I am. It's a bit sad how life changes after you go away to college. Maybe that's what's making me so restless. I remember everyone I used to be friends with, all my orchestra buddies and classmates, and now they're just sort of...well...gone.
On another note, my boss showed me what I consider to be the best sketchbook every - moleskine notebooks. I have to get myself some for the next school year! And no, they're not made out of moles.

Grosse

I'm getting fat. Could be because Gramma's trying to stuff me like a turkey. Not that I don't like her, but I can't wait for her to leave so I can start eating healthy, on my own, without massive quantities of seconds being pushed at me every freaking day. No wonder I'm so fat, she gives me more than double what I usually eat, and being that it's Gramma, how can I disappoint her by not eating?
And no, it is not my imagination. There is definitely a spare tire around my middle that has never, in my entire freakin life, ever, ever existed! Darn you, Gramma! ARGH!
And now I'm going to go shove dessert down my throat. ARGH!

Legs, Subways and Doofus Awards

Today was fraught with horrible thoughts on my part. On the way to the subway, I picked up my usual free copy of the Metro. Today there were two stories I found particularly disturbing. The first involved a woman in Long Island hearing two thumps in the morning and returning from work to find that someone's right leg complete with socks and Adidas sneaker, as well as half a torso and part of the spine somehow fell down from the sky and crashed into the side of her house. Yes, very disgusting.
The second story I read was about a woman who got raped in the subway last night. Apparently the person who worked in the booth heard a scream but didn't investigate. One of the people driving the cars noticed what looked like a man assaulting a woman and called it in. Needless to say, by then, the deed had already been done. So me with my horrifically vivid imagination thought about how I would react if someone tried to rape me. The phrase, "You're frickin' kidding me," always seems to be the first words out of my mouth before I try to get away. I really need some form of self defense. It seems too easy for some guy to just grab me unsuspecting off the street - but then, I'm usually safely at home before the rapists start their evening lurk.
On a brighter note, Nestor sent me a most amusing email today. Apparently the company portfolios that we were busy making all last week made quite a splash over in Missouri. We won the Preferred Doofus Award for Outstanding Achievement. It involves the award for best cover, best use of color, fine fonts and most appealing and readable page layout, best use of photographs (aka "Pretty pictures: they made me drool"), technical excellence for special achievement in binding and paper quality, and lastly the highest rating awarded in the category of "Attention to Detail and Demonstrated Subtlety and Self-Restraint in Marketing." I think basically the librarians of Columbia, Missouri were telling us we went far above and beyond the norm for portfolio quality. We aim to please. ^_^

Phone Bill

It's been about two and a half weeks since I started living with Gramma. So far, it was pretty good. She'd cook food, I'd babble about the day. I'd help carry groceries. She'd read her paper. I'd surf my stolen internet.
Then, the phone bill came in. Boy, is she mad. Apparently she ran up the long distance bill with phone calls to Taiwan - around $80 this month, plus the flat rate, totalling to about $120. Never is she as scary as when she's counting her money...She practically yelled at me today and made me explain what each and every part of the bill was - much of which I couldn't explain because I just don't know the words for FCC and surcharge are. That wasn't ever part of my daily conversation, nor was it part of my Chinese school education...
In any case, it's kind of odd and surprising all at the same time. At home, Gramma would do her anger thing and yell at mom or dad while May and I ignored them, and since I'm the only one around, I get the brunt of it. Joyful. I don't think she's ever raised her voice at any of us before - well, maybe at Jon and Ling for not drinking their milk.
O and I asked my parents (and by parents, I actually mean mom) if I could go to Pittsburgh and visit my bunny and mom said yes! Woohoo! Now I just have to tell the bosses that they won't have to worry about another 13 hours of overtime...

Bored

Yes, I am bored. Today, I went out with Gramma so that I could help her get a library card. Of course, I had some self-interest in mind, I need books to read. In my massive boredom, I have actually read the newspaper, and I actually seem to read too quickly, and find my days still empty and my mind craving more entertainment. So we went to the library today. The Flushing Library has an embarrassingly paltry literary selection. It's consisted entirely of best-sellers and that Oprah list of good books to read. Most of it is in paperback, and most of it comes in multiple copies. I find myself looking at only V.C. Andrews and popular Romance novels complete with half naked men and women foreplaying on the covers. My god, is that the only stuff people want to read? Of course, once in a while, you can sift through the piles of Anne Rice and find a pretty good book. I managed to rustle up "I, Robot," which up till now I haven't had a chance to read. My brain practically inhaled the book, and now it's busily asking for more Asimov. Except that it's the only Asimov book in the entire library. Yes, I'm not exaggerating. And there's only two Bradbury books. As for the classics, like Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice, I haven't a clue if they've hidden those away somewhere.
Anyway, "I, Robot" was great. I have no clue how they managed to turn that into a movie, since the story was actually several that took place over the course of an old lady's career. I suppose they took the idea of a robot committing murder and stuffed it into some action packed story, turning that icy old woman into the voluptuous, hollywood dame that Will Smith's character will promptly fall in love with. Never mind the fact that the book states clearly that she is a plain looking woman who likes robots way more than she's ever liked humans. They always mess the stories up so badly...
In any case, I guess I can understand how crappy the library is. It is, after all, New York City, where those who want to read are rich enough to buy what they want, and those who only read a little only care for V.C. Andrews and the like. I need to go to Danbury in a couple weeks and take out as many books as I can carry back to NY.
What really pisses me off is that the cover has Will Smith on it. His character doesn't even exist in the book. The robopsychologist does all the brainwork in the book. Fine, I don't have to be a purist about it all, but I figure, as long as the very basic idea of the book is kept, then it's all right. I suppose that's what offended me so much about "the Bourne Identity." Even the meaning of the phrase, "the Bourne Identity" was completely ignored in the movie.

Lonely

My next subway observation: Yesterday, a woman sat across from me from the stop at Times Square till the stop at Vernon. The first thing I noticed was that she looked like she stepped out of the baby ward at the hospital - everything on her was pastel, including her baby yellow sneakers with lavender shoelaces and baby blue ankle socks. The second thing I noticed was that she was extremely nervous. She never sat back in the seat, rather perched herself like a giant albatross on the edge of the seat, always something ticking, whether it was the side of the mouth or her finger or her foot. Her eyes kept darting back and forth, like she was just waiting for something to happen. I'm not sure what she was waiting for, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she's deathly afraid of germs. At any rate, I looked down for one second when the contents of my bag shifted at the sudden stop at Vernon, and all I saw was a lavender figure darting out as fast as possible out of the corner of my eye. She really didn't like being on the subway.
I, as you can probably tell by now, quite enjoy the subway. There's a lot of interesting things to see. If I ever went to France, you can bet I'd be one of those people who would just sit ouside a cafe and drink Parisien coffee as I watch the world go by.
Also, I'm just plain lonely. I don't have any friends that I can hang out with here. Everyday, it's work till 6:30, leave and get back at 7:30. After that, I would eat dinner, help Gramma clean up, and then it's 9. Sometimes, I'll call my Benny-bean, but still, talking to him on the phone and actually seeing him are two different things entirely. I sit in front of the laptop with AIM on desperately hoping to see a friend pop online, but then it's 10, and if I'm ever to wake up on time, that's when I must go. Everything is very nice and structured in my day, I get enough sleep, I get enough time to eat, but I'm just lonely. What's there to do in NY? Nothing without friends, really. I can't very well go into Manhattan all alone after dark, or my gramma will freak out. I don't have time to make friends. So I'm pretty much stuck here, all alone. Lonely, lonely, lonely...

Observing

Recently, I have fallen in love with a UK band called "the Servant." Sadly, their CD is not sold in the US, though I can order it on Amazon for a mere $40. I like them, but not that much.
Today I got out of work at 6:30, just like yesterday. Both days, I waited for the subway next to two elderly gentleman, both equally wrinkled and equally hunched. Perhaps it's an advanced form of osteoperosis? I was speculating on the way home. How is it that the only two hunch-backed old men I've ever seen in my entire life appear at the same time and the same place, and yet don't seem to know each other at all? Maybe there's a doctor's office nearby? I didn't see one anywhere around the area, so unless it's extremely well hidden, I don't think that's the case. Maybe there's a support group of sorts? That's just stupid. I hate to think that perhaps it's just a coincidence. But sometimes, that's all that it is.
I also thought about body posture on the subway. One fellow that sat across from me was dressed in the ghetto-fabulous bling bling style of Puff Daddy, or P. Diddy or whatever you call him these days. Odd thing is that he sat completely hunch over, legs together as if he were riding side saddle, reading a book. Next to him was a nerdy looking Chinese guy, he looked to be 16, but is probably anywhere from 20-25 years old. He, I thought, seemed annoyingly confident, like a prince sitting on his throne, looking down on others, legs apart, arms crossed, knowing smile on the face. It took me a while to come up with that metaphor, but that's what he was - he reminded me of a young emperor in one of those cheesy, low-budget Chinese soap operas. I also saw someone my sister probably would have drawn in her sketchbook. Skinny guy, hair slicked back like Christian Bale, little sunglasses, jacket with a collar like Vash and lots of buckles on it. I guess on paper it looks pretty good, but when someone wears it in real life...well, he looked kind of silly. I doubt even Christian Bale could pull it off. Sorry, Vincent, you're just not meant to be real.

Gross

Today on the subway, I saw the oddest thing. Well, odd doesn't describe it. Apparently, there's a baseball game tonight at Shea Stadium. Because of this, there were quite a few people on the 7 tonight. One group I noticed in particular. There was a girl, I'd say about 20 years old, maybe Laotian or Cambodian. She was sitting around two older caucasian men, and by older, I mean about 45 to 50 years old. Fine, usually that's nothing. What I couldn't fathom, was that one of those old men had his arms around her shoulders and his hand was molesting her arm. That gave me chills. Were they related somehow? Was he a particularly close friend? Was she a hooker? Did she simply not mind some man old enough to be her father have his arm so...intimately slung around her? And then she put her arm on his thigh, his inner thigh. At which point I threw up a little in my mouth. Thank god they got off at Shea Stadium...
In other news, I made a friend today. Sadly, I can't remember his name. I think it's John. I'm pretty positive it's John. John just recently graduated from Kansas State with a master's degree in landscape design. He's currently working in the same office as me, though not in the same company. He's also currently working as a National Guard whatchamacallit. He's a very nice, tall fellow who I thought was bald, until I noticed that it's just that his hair is so blond, it's white. Nice person, but still, I'm hoping I can make some friends more my age, and preferably female. I still haven't had a chance to go visit the neighboring design office, must get to that sometime.
O yes, and for once, the guy at the receptionist desk said good morning to me. Amazing, I do exist.

Roommate Search

I really hate bureaucracies - that's basically what CMU is. Right now, I feel particularly helpless against them and just plain sullen. Not even angry, no rage, I am just sullen, like a little kid who got sent to time out.
Of course, in my case, time out's going to last for an entire year in a crappy little room on a crappy little campus called Carnegie Mellon. All this is due to the fact that I'm bound by contract to pay $6000 for the place that I don't want to live in next year, and that appealing it would be $10,000 at the least. Not really worth it, no? Well all I can do now is sulk, hope I get a good room, find Adria Greene's car and smear dog poo under the door handles.
I also have to find a new roommate for the roommate I was going to live with in the glorious apartment I looked forward to living in. My roommate is proving to be most odd about it, telling me I ought to be the one who picks who lives with her. It doesn't really make sense to me, since she's the one who's going to have to put up with whoever I drop in on her. What happens if I picked some transgender named Sheila who liked to bring her multiple lovers home on weeknights? I doubt my roommate would approve. Call me crazy, but that's my reasoning.
I hate this whole situation, it's like blackmail, except it's my own stupidity that's blackmailing me. I hope Adria gets fired. I also hope the office that she's in catches fire and burns down with her in it, since, of course, burning to death is what I imagine to be the worst possible way to go. Obviously I'm not about to commit homicide or arson. Still, I can daydream.
I think the only way I can get a little revenge is to become a rich and famous architect, and not donate a single penny to anything other than my very own school of architecture. When I'm an older, more experienced and overall socially smarter person, I'll give them some sort of all encompassing explanation as to why, and hopefully it won't be a bureaucracy anymore...yah..right...like that will ever happen...

Working Woman

Yes, ladies and gents, I am now a working woman! Today was my first day working for BottinoGrund Architects and I'm having fun. I get my own nice little corner, complete reign over the printers and scanner and fax machine and a logitech wireless mouse! My bosses are really funny and I get to wear jeans and sneakers to work if I want. Today, they even bought me lunch (wow).
It felt very strange today going into Manhattan all on my lonesome. I'm usually following someone around, or with a group of people, but for the first time, I was in the big city all on my lonesome. Sure I was in Pittsburgh for two years all on my lonesome, but Pittsburgh is really nothing compared to NY. NY is...cold in comparison. No one smiles, no one watches out for each other. I think if someone were to faint in the subway, the only people that would bend over to check are the ones checking your wallet for money. The commuting is...hostile.
On a lighter, happier note, I got hired by HolzmanMoss as well. Three for me, mwahaha. I left them a message that I already got a job, but that feels sort of like a jerk thing to do, so I'm going to call them again tomorrow and apologize. I'm really bad at telling people no. I almost had a moment of hope when Nestor (my boss) said that he should give HolzmanMoss a call and say haha, too late, but then, he was just joking. Ah well, guess I'll have to do it myself...

Withdrawal

Suffering internet withdrawal. No internet at home either due to something being wrong with the outside wires. No repairs till Sunday. Since we have cable internet, that means no t.v. either.
Only have sporadic bits of internet usage like now.
Need 24-7 internet....
Hands Shaking....

Unhappy

These past few days have me flipping out. First there was the frantic packing of the boxes. And there was big camping night, where my parents stayed over in my eeny weeny apartment. And then we all drove home and the whole time, mom kept mentioning how she and dad didn't like how I was dating a white guy. Yes, my parents are racists. I thought they weren't, but apparently they are. And it's getting on my nerves how mom keeps mentioning it over and over how much dad doesn't like me dating Ben when it's very clear to me that while dad is unhappy, it's mostly mom who is very very upset with it. So what? He's American. So am I. Deal.
Also annoying me is my parents' usual behavior of letting me know at the very last minute that we're going to New York the very next day and somehow expecting me to magically know this even though I've been away at school all this time. And now, I'm stuck here in New York City with no instant messenger or means to call my Benny-bean who I miss incredibly and really want to talk to. All I've got is email and NYTimes on my uncle's borrowed laptop with stolen insecure DSL connection. I'm going to be in the city until around Wednesday afternoon because of my interviews and then I'll be back in Connecticut and hopefully my parents won't mind me calling him. Long distance sucks.
I need a big hug from my Ben...