Alive

My God, I'm still alive...

Axel took me out on his motorcycle today. He wanted to go down into Red Hook which is quite ridiculous by way of public transportation, so we went by bike instead. Once we got there, we were unable to locate the food stalls we were in search of, so we went up to Greenpoint instead. There, we went to a great Mexican place where I had my first taco since moving out of Brooklyn. Delicious. Then he drove me back home. One hour by subway, ten minutes by bike. Sweet.
Funny thing about motorcycles is that the wind blows cold and hard, and it hits very interesting spots, like...your crotch... When we got off at Greenpoint, I began to wonder if I'd wet myself because my pants were quite chilly down there. I've deduced that it was either the wind, or cold fear-sweat.
Over lunch, I confessed to being scared shitless. My knees were knocking like mad while we were going. I think in any other situation, I would have cut and run, but being on a motorcycle, you can't really do that.
I have mixed feelings about motorcycles. I compare to the sea-doo, which I rode with Ben's brother. The sea-doo was awful because he could do any sort of trick he wanted which caused me to bounce every which way, and the wind was in my face. I knew that if I fell off, it'd feel like I just got hit by a truck, just generally unpleasant.
The motorcycle felt much safer in general. I knew Axel is a responsible driver, and there's only so much variation in things you can do on the road. The helmet was also a great feeling of safety because it's like you're in your own little world, the wind whips around you outside. I think what freaked me out though, was that I knew I couldn't leave, there was no ejection button, no bail out. If I started freaking out, I had no way of telling him to please pull over, I need to cry. There were upsides, though. You see waaay more when you're on a motorbike. I never realized it, but you miss so much in a car by not being able to look up. You also move faster because you can nudge your way through any traffic jam. Strangely, my eyesight felt remarkably good while we were on the bike - I can't usually read street signs, but I could on the bike. It was also fun to see all the people stuck in their cars, groaning at how there's yet another traffic jam. It made me feel good that I wasn't stuck in a miserable tin can like they were. One more thing was that I liked that I could see people walking around outside, and they could see me, but at the same time, not really see me. I wonder what they thought when they saw us, guy and girl on a bike, faceless.

Wilting

The new apartment is nice, but certain situations are grating on my nerves. I'm not happy.

Safe!

So, I went into the whole LEED exams thing a couple of months ago with a lot of enthusiasm. After half a year of going to work and having nothing to do after, I was bored. And then there was LEED. Stress, stress, stress. It was worse than having to take a class at school, because the LEED exam costs $300, and if you fail, you're $300 down. If you pass, then the company reimburses you.
I was particularly worried when yesterday, I hit a study barrier. I was midway through reviewing EQ when I just realized I could no longer absorb any information. None. So I gave up and went to Axel's and we watched a tv show about some chem teacher who found out he had terminal lung cancer and somehow decided that he would sell crystal meth to make fast money for his family and "Old Boy" (which, by the way, is an f***ed up, but very good movie). Good brain refresh.
O, and I was further hounded by bad omens when, on the way to the testing center, I completely tripped and fell in the middle of 7th Ave and scraped my knee. A couple of ladies were kind enough to pick me up and hand me the chapstick I dropped. Stupid potholes.
Ill feelings persisted as I was unable to answer the first TEN questions of the test, but things got better. I think the best part was one I realized that one question answered another question that I wasn't sure about. Caught you, LEED! Mwaha! Ironically, as bad as today seemed, I passed! Woohoo! Hello, boring evenings!

R.I.P.

Tonight, a former floormate was killed. Morten just told me. R.I.P. Torben.

Edit: Torben was a guy who lived on my floor when I was studying abroad in Copenhagen. I knew him as well as I could, for only having been around him for 2.5 months. We had some beers together. He was always very amiable, asking how I was enjoying Copenhagen and things about school.
Last night, Morten told me that Torben was killed by the Danish police. A doctor had declared him mentally ill and sent officers to his home to get him. Apparently, he was in the middle of a post traumatic stress episode (he served in the military in Bosnia) and attacked them with a sword and a knife. He tried to get one of their guns, and they shot him.
Today, his story was splashed all over the Danish news. From what I could read, he had apparently gotten back in touch with his family for the first time in many years. He was not happy, and said he was going home to them. He had gone earlier yesterday to the hospital to try to get help. They sent him home. When they went to get him, well...everything went wrong.
This was not something he deserved. Torben, I'm so sorry.

Breathe

Today is absolutely gorgeous out. Michael and I went onto the roof and I wandered around while he had a cigarette. The sun feels wonderful, the birds are twittering, there's a soft breeze blowing over the city. I can't wait for true warm weather to be here. I can see us having a picnic on the roof.

Miscommunication

My boss asked me to send Life Safety drawings today to a consultant. I looked around and couldn't find anything updated, so I contacted the consultant who handled those things and had him send them to the appropriate people. Fine, handled. I shoot an email to my boss to let him know what's going on. He then replies that the "file" is in some sort of update package for millwork. Millwork? Why would Life Safety and Millwork be together? I don't think you need to be in the industry to realize that's like putting together a circle and a square. Confused, I look around and say I don't see it, and can he give me more information. He replies saying that it's in our 3D model or in the CAD documents. Still confused, I reply, "Are we still talking about the life safety drawings?"
And then I realized that he somehow forgot that we were talking about Life Safety drawings and was going by the subject header of the emails which pertains to millwork. Shoot. Me. Now.

In other news, one week till my LEED exam. I feel woefully underprepared.