I was looking around online and found a list called, "88 Ways to Know if You're Chinese." Just for kicks, I'm going to bold the ones that apply, though for this, I'll think of things as if I'm still with the parentals.
1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and
reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50%
off.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and
store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has
moved out.
4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
9. You have never used your dishwasher.
10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
12. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
15. You always leave your shoes at the door.
16. You have a piano in your living room.
17. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
18. You iron your own shirts.
19. You play a musical instrument.
20. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your
mouth).
21. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
22. You hate to waste food
a. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they?re going to
throw away the leftovers on the table, you?ll finish them.
b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or
one leftover chicken wing.
23. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used
but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
24. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
25. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
26. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you
visit people's homes.
27. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take
every time you stay in a hotel.
28. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or
come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take
out or go to McDonald?s.
29. Ditto paper napkins.
30. You never order room service.
31. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and
travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)...These travel
snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and
beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
32. You own a rice cooker.
33. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
34. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That?s why
you need the vinyl tablecloth).
35. Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges
that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
36. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
38. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or
law.
39. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
40. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they
prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live
in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same
neighborhood. (It's entirely possible...)
41. You don't use measuring cups.
42. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
43. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
44. Your parents house is always cold.
45. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
46. You reuse teabags.
47. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don?t write
anymore.
48. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if
you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
49. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since
calling Information costs 50 cents.
50. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you
tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
51. You're a wok user.
52. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
53. You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurants.
54. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions
a. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
55. You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
56. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
57. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it
means they're fresh.
58. You never call your parents just to say hi.
59. You always cook too much. 60. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if
you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
61. Also, if you don't live at home, your parents always want you to
come home.
62. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get
sick.
63. When you're sick, they also tell you not to eat fried foods or
baked goods because they produce hot air.
64. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only
sit 10 feet apart.
65. Your parents never go to the movies.
66. Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. Your parents use a clothes line.
69. You're always late.
70. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the
last piece of food on the table.
71. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
72. You've joined a CD club at least once.
73. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or
electronics.
74. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
75. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
76. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never
going to use them again.
77. You keep used batteries.
78. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
79. You keep most of your money in a savings account.
80. You own an MJ set and possibly have a room set up in the
basement.
81. You know what MJ means.
82. You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has.
83. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
84. You say "whie" when answering your cell phone.
85. You are familiar with the term "aiee yah...".
86. You know what moon cakes are. 87. You know why this list consists of only 88 reasons.
88. You take this message and forward it to all your Chinese
friends.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Mmmm
I've come to the conclusion that my favorite photos do not consist of people. They do not consist of buildings. Nor clothing. I love photos of food, lunch on a tray, etc., nicely done in relatively un-gross lighting. I like photos of airplane food, cafeteria food, etc. But not just a close-up shot of a candy bar or anything. It needs to be a nice complete meal all put together in an obvious, organized manner - drink, main entree, side dish, dessert. Maybe this means that more than anything in the world, I love food?
Friday, January 28, 2005
Social Commentary
A few days ago, a fellow named Alvarez decided to kill himself. At the last second, he chickened out and instead, left his jeep in the middle of some train tracks, derailed three trains, injuring 150 people and killing 11.
And now they want to give him the death sentence. Call me crazy, but wasn't this whole situation caused because he was looking for death? Wouldn't it be better to twist that final decision of choosing life by giving him life in prison? I think it'd be much more fitting to lock that idiot into a sterile, round little room, devoid of any sharp objects so he can't kill himself. That is, he won't be able to kill himself unless his drug withdrawel drove him into such a frenzied state that he might claw his own eyes out and perhaps bleed to death. Or perhaps he'll grow desperate enough that he'd be willing to go in such an undignified manner as attempting to drown himself on the only pool of standing water that might be in the room - the little hole in the corner where he would be doing his business (I remember reading about an inmate who tried that once and failed, ew).
Maybe I'm a heartless witch. Maybe I should say that his life was just messed up by drugs, a shrill wife who probably turned life into one big, warped and shrill hyperbole. Maybe he just needs some loving. Maybe he just needs some help.
I have to admit that in some part of me, I believe that that's the case - no man should ever have to suffer forever. But really, would all eleven families forgive him for what he's done?
Either way, the death sentence, especially in this instance, is most assuredly inappropriate.
And now they want to give him the death sentence. Call me crazy, but wasn't this whole situation caused because he was looking for death? Wouldn't it be better to twist that final decision of choosing life by giving him life in prison? I think it'd be much more fitting to lock that idiot into a sterile, round little room, devoid of any sharp objects so he can't kill himself. That is, he won't be able to kill himself unless his drug withdrawel drove him into such a frenzied state that he might claw his own eyes out and perhaps bleed to death. Or perhaps he'll grow desperate enough that he'd be willing to go in such an undignified manner as attempting to drown himself on the only pool of standing water that might be in the room - the little hole in the corner where he would be doing his business (I remember reading about an inmate who tried that once and failed, ew).
Maybe I'm a heartless witch. Maybe I should say that his life was just messed up by drugs, a shrill wife who probably turned life into one big, warped and shrill hyperbole. Maybe he just needs some loving. Maybe he just needs some help.
I have to admit that in some part of me, I believe that that's the case - no man should ever have to suffer forever. But really, would all eleven families forgive him for what he's done?
Either way, the death sentence, especially in this instance, is most assuredly inappropriate.
Triumph
Today, studio was victory. All day, Lubetz kept stating that I was one of the quiet ones who never talked. Over and over. I told him, yes, I do. I talk plenty. I by no means keep opinions to myself. He said, yes, I'm plenty talkative, but never in class when it counts. I told him he was wrong and sat there in studio, most unhappily, listlessly listening to everyone discuss our presentation for the month. At the end of studio, we finally got around to doing what I want to do. We start looking at a couple of the projects. That's when I start talking, and I give a bit of advice, some of which Mr. Smug agrees with. And as he was leaving, he turned around and said, Angela, I owe you an apology. I said you didn't talk and you talked plenty today. I gave a pert little reply of, See? I told you. And then I thought to myself, so there! Hah!
Now all I have to do is get people to notice there's a sign outside the door to the apartment that says there is to be no smoking within 20 feet of the building...
Now all I have to do is get people to notice there's a sign outside the door to the apartment that says there is to be no smoking within 20 feet of the building...
Monday, January 24, 2005
Random Constructivism
This weekend was somewhat productive. I did my homework, that was interesting. It was also very very easy. One example:
Utility = sqrt(A*O), if A=20 and O=20, what's the utility? Umm, fifth grade math, much?
Other than that, I've been working on designing an online portfolio. It seems to be going a lot better than I had thought. The teacher liked the archival of my last semesters' final project to ask for another copy so I guess I don't have to fix it up anymore. As for all of first year's project, I have to photograph what I can, and see what can be done. I'm trying to get an internship in Manhattan this summer. I think it'd be a great learning experience, like a little trial in the big, big city. On the other hand, I'd be far, far away from my Benny-bean. Winter break already got me really depressed about being away from him, I don't know what three whole months will feel...
We spent all day today together. We just enjoyed each others' presence, watched some movies - it was nice, I even did my homework while he was watching the movie. I told him that there was something nice about just being together, not necessarily explicitly to interact, but just to enjoy being around each other. I've seen a lot of couples in this school act that way, but since Ben is so far away, I haven't actually ever enjoyed something like that. I still have to get him to watch Cowboy Bebop, he's proving to be very slippery about that. I tried to entice him towards it today by mentioning that Spike Spiegel uses Jeet Kun Do. I don't know if he heard though.
On the last note, we found a lot of bins filled with movies that were less than $10. I got Quills... ^_^
Utility = sqrt(A*O), if A=20 and O=20, what's the utility? Umm, fifth grade math, much?
Other than that, I've been working on designing an online portfolio. It seems to be going a lot better than I had thought. The teacher liked the archival of my last semesters' final project to ask for another copy so I guess I don't have to fix it up anymore. As for all of first year's project, I have to photograph what I can, and see what can be done. I'm trying to get an internship in Manhattan this summer. I think it'd be a great learning experience, like a little trial in the big, big city. On the other hand, I'd be far, far away from my Benny-bean. Winter break already got me really depressed about being away from him, I don't know what three whole months will feel...
We spent all day today together. We just enjoyed each others' presence, watched some movies - it was nice, I even did my homework while he was watching the movie. I told him that there was something nice about just being together, not necessarily explicitly to interact, but just to enjoy being around each other. I've seen a lot of couples in this school act that way, but since Ben is so far away, I haven't actually ever enjoyed something like that. I still have to get him to watch Cowboy Bebop, he's proving to be very slippery about that. I tried to entice him towards it today by mentioning that Spike Spiegel uses Jeet Kun Do. I don't know if he heard though.
On the last note, we found a lot of bins filled with movies that were less than $10. I got Quills... ^_^
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Moo
Ben came over tonight. Amidst enlightening conversation we fell asleep for a couple hours on my bed. It was nice. I really liked it. Too bad we couldn't really stay that way...
Anyhoo, I was on the verge of disappointment seeing that I was most likely only in one dance yet again, after only getting one scene in Spirit Fashion show, but I just got a lovely email that notified me that I am in not one, but TWO dances this semester. This means I really need to get down to scrubbing my shoes or I'll have nothing to dance in.
I had dance class today. We finally did more than just the warmup routine. I felt kind of stupid though, that I was fumbling all over the place. I just don't really like having someone dancing directly in front of me because that throws off my concentration... I like the class, but it's ultimately kind of frustrating...
Anyhoo, I was on the verge of disappointment seeing that I was most likely only in one dance yet again, after only getting one scene in Spirit Fashion show, but I just got a lovely email that notified me that I am in not one, but TWO dances this semester. This means I really need to get down to scrubbing my shoes or I'll have nothing to dance in.
I had dance class today. We finally did more than just the warmup routine. I felt kind of stupid though, that I was fumbling all over the place. I just don't really like having someone dancing directly in front of me because that throws off my concentration... I like the class, but it's ultimately kind of frustrating...
Monday, January 17, 2005
Funness
I just had a most wonderful weekend filled with time spent with Benny-bean. We both had today off from class, so I've sseen him everyday since Friday. On Friday, we went to see "Shaun of the Dead." It started off a bit slow, but after a little while, it really picked up and I found that it was hilarious. Ben's review is, "It wasn't bad, but British humor's really not my thing."
Saturday, I went with Rachel and Evan to the furniture house of god, also known as Ikea (O yes, and Evan's house is AMAZING, it's thoroughly convinced me that I should not live on campus anymore - anyone looking for a roomie?) At 7, Ben picked me up, at which point I prompty remembered I forgot to go to dance class. Being that I probably will never remember it, I dropped the class today. We went back to his place, and we watched "the Butterfly Effect."
On Sunday, it snowed a lot, but I had my dance audition to go to. Did pretty good, I think. But then, I always think I did pretty good. Anyhoo, I danced my heart out, and then left early to be picked up by my dearest, and we went back to his place, watched a documentary on the DaVinci Code and watched "Terminator 3." Slow start, I nodded off a bit, but then I think some big noise woke me up and I stayed awake through the rest of it.
Today we went to Joann's Fabrics where I bought about $20 worth of canvas and things to sew it with, Home Depot where I bought $7 worth of wire cable, and then the hardware store where Ben works, and he got me some really super duper discounted fasteners for the cable. We got a super duper nice pizza from Vocelli's made by Ben's friend, Matt, and we ended the day by going together to the Giant Eagles by the highway and I bought around $50 worth of groceries. Mmmm, groceries. We both had a lot of fun with that.
All in all, an almost perfect weekend. Only downside is that I now have a urinary tract infection...again...
Saturday, I went with Rachel and Evan to the furniture house of god, also known as Ikea (O yes, and Evan's house is AMAZING, it's thoroughly convinced me that I should not live on campus anymore - anyone looking for a roomie?) At 7, Ben picked me up, at which point I prompty remembered I forgot to go to dance class. Being that I probably will never remember it, I dropped the class today. We went back to his place, and we watched "the Butterfly Effect."
On Sunday, it snowed a lot, but I had my dance audition to go to. Did pretty good, I think. But then, I always think I did pretty good. Anyhoo, I danced my heart out, and then left early to be picked up by my dearest, and we went back to his place, watched a documentary on the DaVinci Code and watched "Terminator 3." Slow start, I nodded off a bit, but then I think some big noise woke me up and I stayed awake through the rest of it.
Today we went to Joann's Fabrics where I bought about $20 worth of canvas and things to sew it with, Home Depot where I bought $7 worth of wire cable, and then the hardware store where Ben works, and he got me some really super duper discounted fasteners for the cable. We got a super duper nice pizza from Vocelli's made by Ben's friend, Matt, and we ended the day by going together to the Giant Eagles by the highway and I bought around $50 worth of groceries. Mmmm, groceries. We both had a lot of fun with that.
All in all, an almost perfect weekend. Only downside is that I now have a urinary tract infection...again...
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Flood
Hullo, everyone. Long time no see. I'm now back at CMU, but sadly, not back in my apartment. Upon my return, I found out, much to be disgruntlement (and that's an understatement) that there was a sewage backup in my apartment and the toilet had literally spewed out everything that was in the pipes. That must have started around Friday night, as the apartment below us started complaining to housing about leaks in their ceiling on Saturday. Housing decided it wasn't anything to worry about. At least, that's what they thought until the ceiling downstairs started caving in. "Well, that's not right...," Housing people said to themselves and when they went to inspect, there was raw sewage all over my apartment. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, RAW SEWAGE. So the fellows in dingy whites did their thing and did a prelimenary cleanup of the apartments, throwing out boxes. One box in particular was next to my desk. It contained many important things, most of which I can't remember (I'll probably remember right when I need them). Some things that I do remember were a) the key to my studio (fine of $50 is being incurred), b) all startup disks for my OS (to get replacement disks, it'll cost somewhere between $80-$180), c) 8 MB Smartmedia memory card (I don't think they even sell those anymore, but a 32 MB one is around $15) among other camera paraphrenalia, d) extra wires for my comp. O yes, and my violin case is ruined ($165). O and my drawing portfolio? Ruined. Dance shoes? Gone. I don't have a place for my computer, so I have to content myself with using labs. I don't want to have to bring my stuff all the way over to Donner where the only open room they have is on the THIRD FLOOR WITH NO ELEVATOR so I'm staying with Christi in her temporary room where I sleep on the floor (not too shabby though).
You know what also annoys me? They were joking around and making fun of the whole situation while they were cleaning up apparently. Sorry, but I don't think sewage in the room where I sleep is very funny. And also, THEY WON'T COMPENSATE FOR MY LOSSES. Well, they'd better at least pay me for the things they threw out, because that was not only a loss, it was a breach of contract. Housing Services is not allowed to touch students' personal belongings. They said so themselves. Throwing out a box full of important items is touching my personal belongings. So there.
Can you tell I've been in a terrible, horrible, very bad mood lately? And I'm tired, but there's no where I can go to take a nap.
You know what also annoys me? They were joking around and making fun of the whole situation while they were cleaning up apparently. Sorry, but I don't think sewage in the room where I sleep is very funny. And also, THEY WON'T COMPENSATE FOR MY LOSSES. Well, they'd better at least pay me for the things they threw out, because that was not only a loss, it was a breach of contract. Housing Services is not allowed to touch students' personal belongings. They said so themselves. Throwing out a box full of important items is touching my personal belongings. So there.
Can you tell I've been in a terrible, horrible, very bad mood lately? And I'm tired, but there's no where I can go to take a nap.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Oops
Tonight I think I did a bad thing. And I think it could very much potentially damage my life, socially. I just felt this anger tonight when I was looking at a particular something and that led me to some internet snooping/stalking. And I do believe I've just ruined something precious for my best friend...
I really should just keep my nose where it belongs...
I'm sorry...
I really should just keep my nose where it belongs...
I'm sorry...
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Neurotic
Yes, yes I am. Neurotic. What does it mean? What does it all mean? I already shook an opinion out my my sister. But what does it mean?
Here, read it yourself, give me your thoughts...
In Pursuit of Something Interesting to Say:
I found this poster an... interesting read. This is also the muse of my post about bigotry.
Bigotry:
I wanted to dedicate this post to an evil in our society. I wanted to express my disdain for people who abdicate this position. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with a gift for writing. My skills are mediocre at best. I believe that everyone has a role in life. Some are seen as more important than others in our society, but I believe that all are equally important. I think men who see themselves as superior to women are wrong. They have an unfounded belief. Not only that, but they have made an ignorant judgment. I put this in the same category of people who believe that different ethnic groups are superior to others. This is groundless ignorance. However, I also believe that the emasculation of men in our society is as great an evil. Why can we not allow men to be men and women to be women? Why do we have to justify ourselves by putting others down? What ever happened to the golden rule?
Am I stupid? Why don't I understand? What's this? Someone tell me? I can't fathom how I could possibly be a "muse." Am I a muse? Is that meant to be sarcasn? What? Huh? May and I did some detective work and whittled things down to my entry called "the Monsters We Create" on August 11, 2004 and "the Holocaust of the Carrots" on...whatever day it was. Still, what is it? What does it all imply? I can't find much in the way of direct relation. It's definitely me he's referring to though, as I discovered the title was actually a link to my blog. Yes, yes, I'm definitely neurotic... And I need to brush up on my reading comprehension skills...
Here, read it yourself, give me your thoughts...
In Pursuit of Something Interesting to Say:
I found this poster an... interesting read. This is also the muse of my post about bigotry.
Bigotry:
I wanted to dedicate this post to an evil in our society. I wanted to express my disdain for people who abdicate this position. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with a gift for writing. My skills are mediocre at best. I believe that everyone has a role in life. Some are seen as more important than others in our society, but I believe that all are equally important. I think men who see themselves as superior to women are wrong. They have an unfounded belief. Not only that, but they have made an ignorant judgment. I put this in the same category of people who believe that different ethnic groups are superior to others. This is groundless ignorance. However, I also believe that the emasculation of men in our society is as great an evil. Why can we not allow men to be men and women to be women? Why do we have to justify ourselves by putting others down? What ever happened to the golden rule?
Am I stupid? Why don't I understand? What's this? Someone tell me? I can't fathom how I could possibly be a "muse." Am I a muse? Is that meant to be sarcasn? What? Huh? May and I did some detective work and whittled things down to my entry called "the Monsters We Create" on August 11, 2004 and "the Holocaust of the Carrots" on...whatever day it was. Still, what is it? What does it all imply? I can't find much in the way of direct relation. It's definitely me he's referring to though, as I discovered the title was actually a link to my blog. Yes, yes, I'm definitely neurotic... And I need to brush up on my reading comprehension skills...
Me?
Once again in my life, I find that I am not exactly alone in the world. Or rather, I find that outside of my immediate group of friends, my voice is actually heard. How odd, no?
Once in a blue moon, I get the wild and zany idea to randomly type in something associated with my name or something related to it into a search engine. Today I typed in my blog title and came up with a fellow who spends much of his time reading books and online news sources or what have you, and copies these things onto his site - very intellectual sounding fellow - too bad I don't feel too much like reading tonight. And then he comments on it. And then he read my blog o so many months ago, and wrote an odd little piece about bigotry - this was all in the beginning of the semester mind you. Maybe my brain is a little bit clouded by the fact that I've been up since 6 am this morning and have a raging headache (no migraine, just headache), but I wasn't too clear about what he was trying to say. He referred to me as "an...interesting read." I guess that's my critic's review for the year, thank you very much.
Once in a blue moon, I get the wild and zany idea to randomly type in something associated with my name or something related to it into a search engine. Today I typed in my blog title and came up with a fellow who spends much of his time reading books and online news sources or what have you, and copies these things onto his site - very intellectual sounding fellow - too bad I don't feel too much like reading tonight. And then he comments on it. And then he read my blog o so many months ago, and wrote an odd little piece about bigotry - this was all in the beginning of the semester mind you. Maybe my brain is a little bit clouded by the fact that I've been up since 6 am this morning and have a raging headache (no migraine, just headache), but I wasn't too clear about what he was trying to say. He referred to me as "an...interesting read." I guess that's my critic's review for the year, thank you very much.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
P.S.
And you know what got me really riled up last night? I think Chang stole my idea for the final project. I vaguely recall looking at his work and then telling him my overriding concept. The one where the annex should be completely underground to show presence through absence. That was mine, and I have a strong suspicion that he stole it. I also have a slight suspicion that that old fart, Lubetz, thinks I stole it from Chang... And Chang got all the credit... Goddammit...
Lonely
Tonight I am stricken with a feeling of incredible loneliness. I'm also stricken with an incredible urge to lose weight and look like a super model... Damn you, Project: Runway. Why did you have to destroy my carefully contrived feeling of confidence?! And why am I not already in Pittsburgh, hugging Benny-bean?
Ah well, don't you worry, everyone, about the whole losing weight thing. The loneliness manifested itself in the form of craving, and I downed quite a few of my Milano cookies this evening, along with half a pomegranate (all the time thinking of Persephone and possibly extending the winter into god knows how many months due to the voluminous amount of seeds encompassed within that little chunk of fruit), and some of mommy's yummy sweet potato and ginger soup. Dessert soup, mind you. And it may not sound too tantalizing, but oh, you're wrong, it is the yummiest dessert soup in the world.
So yes, the loneliness and hopelessness I am currently feeling has me trolling the internet, looking for something, anything, that can confirm that I am not an ugly person, that I might be wanted somewhere, somehow, that I might be something significant to someone. Damn you, Project: Runway... Damn you, geography... Damn me and the fact that I just can't be happy with myself...
Ah well, don't you worry, everyone, about the whole losing weight thing. The loneliness manifested itself in the form of craving, and I downed quite a few of my Milano cookies this evening, along with half a pomegranate (all the time thinking of Persephone and possibly extending the winter into god knows how many months due to the voluminous amount of seeds encompassed within that little chunk of fruit), and some of mommy's yummy sweet potato and ginger soup. Dessert soup, mind you. And it may not sound too tantalizing, but oh, you're wrong, it is the yummiest dessert soup in the world.
So yes, the loneliness and hopelessness I am currently feeling has me trolling the internet, looking for something, anything, that can confirm that I am not an ugly person, that I might be wanted somewhere, somehow, that I might be something significant to someone. Damn you, Project: Runway... Damn you, geography... Damn me and the fact that I just can't be happy with myself...
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Happy New Year
Happy New Year everyone! Happy 2005! Did you all watch the ball drop? I certainly didn't! But then, I never do....
Chinese New Years is what it's all about, anyway...
I did go to New York today, got all my hair lopped off. About 6-7 inches worth. It's Vulcan-short now. I don't know what to think of it, except that I know it'll grow back nicely. It's the same haircut I always get, and I have to admit, I don't think I look very good with it. But like I said, it'll look great in 3 months. Hope the people of Spirit Fashion Show don't mind...
I thought about a yearly review about how things went, so here goes...
I am a lot shallower than I used to be, but a lot more comfortable with it for reasons I'm too lazy to explain
In a way, I think about things very differently from how I used to, sort of architecture-analytical organized
Definitely more comfortable with myself in social settings, probably due to Benny-bean ^_^
I was a very angry person all this semester, in class that is
I found out that people don't mind the existence of my pet peeves, and some even like me better for them (odd, no?)
I think I don't really care for the goth so much any more...I kind of like the stilettos and sexy business suit look, but it's a little expensive and not quite something I can pull off unless I drop below a hundred pounds...maybe when I'm famous...
All in all a pretty good year - my brain is definitely much more organized than it used to be
New Years Resolution:
Be more social, aka, make more friends
Umm, lose a little weight? I know, I know, you don't have to yell at me...I still wouldn't mind losing that little ring of fat around my middle...
Chinese New Years is what it's all about, anyway...
I did go to New York today, got all my hair lopped off. About 6-7 inches worth. It's Vulcan-short now. I don't know what to think of it, except that I know it'll grow back nicely. It's the same haircut I always get, and I have to admit, I don't think I look very good with it. But like I said, it'll look great in 3 months. Hope the people of Spirit Fashion Show don't mind...
I thought about a yearly review about how things went, so here goes...
I am a lot shallower than I used to be, but a lot more comfortable with it for reasons I'm too lazy to explain
In a way, I think about things very differently from how I used to, sort of architecture-analytical organized
Definitely more comfortable with myself in social settings, probably due to Benny-bean ^_^
I was a very angry person all this semester, in class that is
I found out that people don't mind the existence of my pet peeves, and some even like me better for them (odd, no?)
I think I don't really care for the goth so much any more...I kind of like the stilettos and sexy business suit look, but it's a little expensive and not quite something I can pull off unless I drop below a hundred pounds...maybe when I'm famous...
All in all a pretty good year - my brain is definitely much more organized than it used to be
New Years Resolution:
Be more social, aka, make more friends
Umm, lose a little weight? I know, I know, you don't have to yell at me...I still wouldn't mind losing that little ring of fat around my middle...
