Happy Halloween to all, and blessed be! Boy o boy was today enjoyable! I actually dressed up in full goth regalia today and went to school, and boy were peope shocked. I'd never have thougt I would have such shock value, but hey, yippee me! It's interesting how many guys gave me that surveying glance that said, hm, not bad, today (including that new student teacher...O_o). Though I found that I got more compliments from girls than I did from boys, perhaps because I scare the boys. One of the teachers liked my look so much that she even snapped a photos of me while I was wailing away on my violin! ^_^
On the darker side of today, what do you feel about cheating? In class today, there was a guy making up a test and he got some of the girls to go and find answers for him after I wouldn't help. Strangely, these girls think it's a bad thing that I won't help this guy cheat. "Wouldn't you want someone to help you on a test once in a while?" Sure, but I'm not going to help some random guy who never was a very nice person to begin with skip by. He can't always get away thinking that someone will help him out of a jam, he has to learn to depend on himself - and he's got to do some of the work, seriously. Not to mention, why on earth should they scorn me for not helping him? He calls me expletives and then offers me money for answers like I'm some sort of cheap whore on the sidewalk. Like I'm going to help him after that.

Aye, and yet again... I noticed lately that I'm extremely, extremely vain. And it's a lot more obvious these days, with me spending vast amounts of money of a simple shirt and pants ensemble that I don't even like that much. I'm sure this cycle can't be good, and the best way to break it that is a financial benefit for me is to learn to sew. And so I shall (scuse the pun). That is, i will if I ever make it into that college of choice...
On a different note, I've been listening to a lot of music from a Finnish cello quartet, Apocalyptica. I absolutely adore their music, and, of course, i have been drowning myself in their music for the past couple days. I even found some of their sheet music (not finished except for one part. ARGGH!). I think I'll convert it into violin music and sneak it into quintet practice sometime.....

Aye, but it's been while, hasn't it? May is constantly telling me to update my blog, and as much as I would like to have some sort of earthshaking excuse for not, I don't. I've just been lazy lazy LAZY. Mmmmm....lazy.
Anyway, you might ask what else has been filling up the hours of my splendidly interesting days. Well, to put it simple, I've been answering these three simple questions repeatedly:
1) name
2) address
3) school
because of my stupid stupid college applications. The same thing, over and over and over, interspersed with periodical fits of panic and despair. Why o why must I repeatedly explain? Why o why is there no such thing as a universal application? and the recommendations! I was just typing my resume for it! Two pages! Why did I do so much? And it horribly barely has anything to do with architecture! ACK!

I think I'm about to explode. I just came back from a fun fun dance team pasta party. The team is so wonderful this year, we all get along and I don't feel intimidated or embarrassed around them...well, I am a bit intimidated by Melissa, but she's the choreographer, so of course. It's wonderful to be comfortable around teammates. I was definitely unhappy last year because of all the tension going on. I was embarrassed to dance my best because some of the girls would snicker at me whenever I did something that didn't suit my normal Daria-esque self. Why on earth would they do that? And good god, why on earth did I even care?
Also, today my friend told me that her bro was annoyed or something at me because I was assertive in class. Oy, so that's what's wrong with me. I scare people because they don't expect me to be aggressive. I dunno, I guess I always feel like people look at me in very hostile ways, and then I'm afraid I'll get rebuffed in some way, so I don't say hi or talk to them. And once in a while, when I'm forced to talk or when I feel my confidence is high enough, I decide to crawl out of my shell. And that ends up scaring people. Oyy....