I think I'm about to explode. I just came back from a fun fun dance team pasta party. The team is so wonderful this year, we all get along and I don't feel intimidated or embarrassed around them...well, I am a bit intimidated by Melissa, but she's the choreographer, so of course. It's wonderful to be comfortable around teammates. I was definitely unhappy last year because of all the tension going on. I was embarrassed to dance my best because some of the girls would snicker at me whenever I did something that didn't suit my normal Daria-esque self. Why on earth would they do that? And good god, why on earth did I even care?
Also, today my friend told me that her bro was annoyed or something at me because I was assertive in class. Oy, so that's what's wrong with me. I scare people because they don't expect me to be aggressive. I dunno, I guess I always feel like people look at me in very hostile ways, and then I'm afraid I'll get rebuffed in some way, so I don't say hi or talk to them. And once in a while, when I'm forced to talk or when I feel my confidence is high enough, I decide to crawl out of my shell. And that ends up scaring people. Oyy....