Alive

My God, I'm still alive...

Axel took me out on his motorcycle today. He wanted to go down into Red Hook which is quite ridiculous by way of public transportation, so we went by bike instead. Once we got there, we were unable to locate the food stalls we were in search of, so we went up to Greenpoint instead. There, we went to a great Mexican place where I had my first taco since moving out of Brooklyn. Delicious. Then he drove me back home. One hour by subway, ten minutes by bike. Sweet.
Funny thing about motorcycles is that the wind blows cold and hard, and it hits very interesting spots, like...your crotch... When we got off at Greenpoint, I began to wonder if I'd wet myself because my pants were quite chilly down there. I've deduced that it was either the wind, or cold fear-sweat.
Over lunch, I confessed to being scared shitless. My knees were knocking like mad while we were going. I think in any other situation, I would have cut and run, but being on a motorcycle, you can't really do that.
I have mixed feelings about motorcycles. I compare to the sea-doo, which I rode with Ben's brother. The sea-doo was awful because he could do any sort of trick he wanted which caused me to bounce every which way, and the wind was in my face. I knew that if I fell off, it'd feel like I just got hit by a truck, just generally unpleasant.
The motorcycle felt much safer in general. I knew Axel is a responsible driver, and there's only so much variation in things you can do on the road. The helmet was also a great feeling of safety because it's like you're in your own little world, the wind whips around you outside. I think what freaked me out though, was that I knew I couldn't leave, there was no ejection button, no bail out. If I started freaking out, I had no way of telling him to please pull over, I need to cry. There were upsides, though. You see waaay more when you're on a motorbike. I never realized it, but you miss so much in a car by not being able to look up. You also move faster because you can nudge your way through any traffic jam. Strangely, my eyesight felt remarkably good while we were on the bike - I can't usually read street signs, but I could on the bike. It was also fun to see all the people stuck in their cars, groaning at how there's yet another traffic jam. It made me feel good that I wasn't stuck in a miserable tin can like they were. One more thing was that I liked that I could see people walking around outside, and they could see me, but at the same time, not really see me. I wonder what they thought when they saw us, guy and girl on a bike, faceless.