Dull Anger

I've been feeling angry lately. Angry at a lot of things. I don't think I realized how angry I've been feeling until my back muscles decided to knot up on me last night. What am I angry at? I'm angry at a lot of things, but not a fiery passion of rage angry, just an underlying tone of discontent in my mind, a little angry at this person, a little angry at that person - all adding up into frustration and a strong feeling of wanting to cry on Ben's shoulder without him trying to talk me into feeling better.
Who am I mad at? Well, I'm mad at dad for being so snobbish about a person that he hasn't ever met and being so pessimistic my priorities. Since when did I ever appear to want to quit school and have babies? When have I let emotions totally cloud my judgement?
I am mad at Zach, just now, for speaking so rudely to me, and apparently, thinking so badly of me. Lately he has been treating me like I'm some sort of lazy person, just because I made a few mistakes on my homework. Sometimes I just get things wrong. What makes me so lazy? I finished my work before everybody else did so I'd have time to compare answers. Maybe I didn't get it all right, but that's largely because I didn't confer with anyone else about how to go about solving things.
I'm mad at a particular someone for being too close-minded to see why I choose not to talk to him, and for being so close minded that he retreated back into his own little world and basically cut off any chance of even letting me talk to him again.
I'm mad at another particular someone for taking so long to realize something that he should have thought of long ago. He could have saved the both of us a lot of hurt if he could have pulled himself out of his own selfish world sooner and realized that I'm not the weakling he perceived me to be.
I'm mad at a lot of people in general, and partially at myself, because I can't communicate what I think. I feel like if I only knew the right words and gestures, people would see that I'm not stupid, I'm not lazy, I'm not a thoughtless weakling that is good for nothing. I don't lack ambition and I don't have a cluttered, useless mind.
And sadly, Ben won't have time to lend me his shoulder to cry on this weekend.