Bicycles

I feel disappointed in myself. Many of the things I do lately seem to be either half-assed, or I'm just completely incompetent. I found out yesterday that the saying where one never forgets how to ride a bicycle is completely false. I may be able to balance on one foot, releve, but I can't seem to stay on a bicycle anymore.
Studio seems to be going down the drain. This year we're really delving into the abstract sort of things like partis and such. I managed to avoid those last year, but now they're coming back to bite me in the derriere. I think differently from everyone, I can't help it if that's the way things are. What I think is perfectly understandable is incomprehensible to everyone else. Or maybe I'm not seeing things with a cleared mind. In any case, I'm just not motivated in studio at all. I don't really like the open-ended-ness in the schedule this year, and our professor is supposed to be focused on teaching us how to communicate, but I found out, especially at his lecture yesterday, that he himself can't really communicate. I think I should transfer into Damiani's studio - they get way more work than any other studio, but he has a lot of structure to his teaching and that's what I need right now. Actually, I don't think that's what I want, I don't even want any professor's opinion actually. All I really want is someone who understands what we're trying to learn - and I want that someone to really listen to my ideas. I feel like my best thinking is done when I'm trying to explain it to someone in an unrushed, non-public situation. I've tried thinking into my sketchbook, and occasionally that works, but it's not quite the same. I think I need a mentor of some sort. As for studio, I'm expecting a C...