Life Update

Sorry it's been awhile. Life's been hectic lately, so I haven't been feeling up to typing till just about now.
First thing's first, as of exactly one week ago, I turned 20. Yay! Bunny-bean and I and his gramma all have birthdays one after another, so his parents threw us all a little joint birthday party complete with the humongous birthday cake. Very huge. So huge that today, I'm still working on the quarter of the cake Ben's mom gave me.
Reason for being tired, other than the massive amounts of homework I've been getting in all of my classes, is that I have one dance to choreograph because the real choreographer is a lazy bum who won't do anything and expects everything, and then I have two Dancer Symposium dances to learn, and my dance for dance class. I can't wait for Dancer's Symposium. Abby's dance is awesome. I'm definitely buying a DVD.
And this weekend was just about the worst weekend ever concerning plastic. Benny-bean took me to the mall so I could buy toe socks for the dance. All goes well until for some reason, my debit card no longer works. The lady at the counter stares at me and Ben like we're con artist criminals caught in the act and I just stand there feeling like I'm about to cry. I called the bank and got their answering machine, since it was Saturday. I used my debit card's number to check my account and it still exists. We came to the conclusion that that stupid dunce of a woman dragged my card across the counter and the demagnitizer they use on the jeans decided to wipe my card. Stupid woman. So tomorrow I'll be going to the bank to see about getting a replacement. Meanwhile, I fortunately have my Chinese New Year's money on hand so I know that if I'm very careful, I could very well live out the rest of the year without accessing my account. Incidentally, my classmate John had an even worse week. In one day, both his ID card and bank card got wiped so he has no money at all and his bike got stolen. Sucks, don't it?
Oh yes and today, I actually forgot my ID card in my apartment so I had to call campus police to let me back in. When they arrived, they said, "First you need to show us your ID." "Well, ma'am, the reason I can't get into my room is because I don't have my ID." "Good point, well then, find it quick." So I went right over to my desk where it was lying in plain sight, picked it up, showed it, and then the officer left.
O and on Saturday, I learned how to play guitar. Ben's dad bought himself an electric guitar and a little book that taught all the notes and a couple chords in the first position. I showed him wrist placement and how to count time and then he let me play with his new toys. I ended up playing through every song in the entire book which took about an hour. I heard Ben's mom saying to Ben, "I think you lost your girlfriend to a guitar there, Ben." Teehee...

All the Universe in a Shot Glass

Last night, I spent four hours building a model for today. I thought it looked good, but our fearless leader decided that he liked the old one. O well, back to the drawing board. Fortunately, the old one is easier to make. It was fun to build the model at least, since this time, Benny-bean was there to keep me company. We talked about strange abstract things like my idea that the world might just be a mutated electron that belongs to part of an atom, and that atom is part of a drop of water we call the galaxy, and what we believe is the extent of the universe is nothing but a sip of water in a shot glass in a world just like ours, but scaled at some exponential level that we wouldn't know we were looking at a speck of dust if we were sitting right on it. Crazy idea, isn't it? Yes, I am insane.
On another note, I cut friend Wazzy's hair yesterday, though I was quite nervous since I've only ever cut my own hair. It came out really well, though, and when I saw it today it looked pretty good. One of my other classmates even hinted at me that her hair needed some trimming as well. I guess another new title of mine is "class hair stylist?"

Rest

I'm at home right now, resting I suppose. Except I have a ton of homework left to do. And I still have to visit the high school.
I went to New York yesterday and today and as usual, I came home feeling fashionably inadequate - as in, I don't have a fashion forward trendiness about me. And what's more, nothing I saw in NY I liked. It was all the same thing, over and over. Why buy it at Diesel for $70 when I can buy a regular t-shirt for a couple dollars at a second hand store for $2 and tear it up myself? The idea of frankensteining clothing has become increasingly appealing to me (mostly because of Project: Runway and the 2055 collection) and I really really need to learn how to sew. I also really, really need to get into the school of drama's costume design class. Alas, I'll just have to dream for now. I'll look into it when class registration time rolls around. Most likely they'll never let me in, because I'm not a drama major.
Anyhow, I went to NY and came back with only a $13 pair of shoes to show for it. Nothing else looked good or amazing enough for me to buy it. Granted Zara had some really nice business suits, but I'm not an intern. When I am, I'll be buying my stuff there. And Banana Republic. And my shoes shall be 9 West and Aldo. And my purse shall be Gucci and empty.
For now, I'll settle for my $35 Victoria Secret Dress. I love it. Benny-bean shall love me in it. Hopefully, it won't make me look short...

Leaving

In half an hour, I will be on a bus to the airport, where I will get on an airplane to go home. It shall be good. I will see my friends and the teachers.
A little while ago, Ben stopped by to see me for a bit before I left for my 10 day trip, and I completely forgot that the school parking lot needs permits. God, I'm stupid. So my poor Benny-Bean got a ticket - $40. Eesh... I feel really bad so I'm going to pay for it and make it up to him... I'm hating this school's living situation more and more.
I also wish that maybe the break was delayed a little, by a week perhaps. I feel like the relationship's getting a bit bumpy, kind of uncertain, and leaving isn't helping the situation at all...
At least I'll get to go to the dentist...

Home

On Thursday night, I will be home. In a way, that's nice, I miss home. On another hand, I'll miss my Benny-bean. Ah well, it'll be ten days of relaxation and seeing old friends in any case.
Speaking of Benny-bean, I watched him play Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic for six hours yesterday. Isn't that nerdy? I am very amused at the idea, but still, that game is very very interesting.
Today I was walking to campus so as to pick up and drop off a few things. While I was walking down the driveway to the apartments, I realized that for a few seconds, no cars passed by. All that was there was me, the road, the sun, the grass and the sound of my own footsteps, and it reminded me of the favorite part of my day in high school, where I would be walking home with the sun out and a crisp breeze in my face and when I walked by the intersection, I'd always look up at that one old pine which I like so much that is half-dead and choked in kudzu vines. O nostalgia...

Equilibrium

Everyday this week, for some reason or other, I haven't been getting enough sleep. First, Sunday through Tuesday, I had a total of 3 hours of sleep because of the project. Tuesday night itself, I slept only seven hours because of morning errands that needed to be done. Slept only three hours on Wednesday night because of all the homework that I'd been neglecting in the wake of that tidal wave called Studio reviews. And then, Thursday night, I crashed and woke up eight hours later with work still left to do...woops. So I frantically worked all morning, managed to be the only archie in Japanese class, and was still very drained. I can't tell if they liked it or not. Spike referred to my project as having a "dumb language." Thanks very much... My eyebrows definitely quirked up when she said that, and Waz told me that it meant simple. If it meant simple, why'd she call it "dumb?" That has an extremely negative connotation. Still, Art redeemed them all by stopping them and telling everyone that this was exactly what everyone should be trying to achieve composition-wise and all the teachers sort of nodded. So that was nice.
Still, I was quite tired from lack of snoozing for a long time. I usually needed a good 15 hours in a row to be totally recovered from one of those. So after a seven hour sleep last night, I went back to sleep after talking to daddy online and now I feel great, and for the first time in what seems like forever, I feel awake.
O yes, and I'm in such a good mood now that I archived my entire portfolio onto CDs, which I've been putting off since the day I moved back into the apartment.

Off Campus?!

Last night, in a fit of despair that I would have to stay up for yet another hour or two in order to finish homework, I took a little break to see what was on misc market and lo and behold, a house! A really, really good one. $355 a month plus utilities, not even a block away from studio, the would be roomies are all people I at least vaguely know (One I actually worship from afar for her amazing dancing). Can you believe that? I find it very funny that my friends were running all over Oakland to find a place and voila, five minutes and I found a place. I hope we get the place, it'd be very convenient. Downside is that we'd have to start paying rent at the end of this month, which I guess is fine, it'll be like an extra storage area. My alternative would be to stay here and it's going to be $5930 for next year and I would have two strangers for roomies. Sooo, $500 a month to share a bedroom with two people? Or $400 a month for my own room which is just as close to studio?

I Miss That Thing Called...

O to sleep. I miss that thing called sleep. I've been working till the wee hours of the morning, complete with sunup lately because another final project is due. That's what that gorgeous bike's for. O, and so far the project look smashingly gorgeous. It's just so time consuming. And hard to work when sleepy...I sliced off the tip of my finger yesterday. Not really badly as in bleeding everywhere. No blood, I got a nice angle for cutting if I absolutely had to cut myself... Let's just say my nails will no longer have perfect borderlines on the cuticles...*sigh, and that was my best nail too... Ahem, anyway, I'm very sleepy now and must study for my Japanese test.
O and I really feel like chatting with people from home, but no one's ever online...And I haven't sent the library ladies an email in a long time. I believe I shall do that after all the hell is over...

Et voila, five hours on Maya and it's gorgeous!

So this is the original, wait till you see what I did with it.

Chinese? Me?

I was looking around online and found a list called, "88 Ways to Know if You're Chinese." Just for kicks, I'm going to bold the ones that apply, though for this, I'll think of things as if I'm still with the parentals.

1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and
reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50%
off.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and
store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has
moved out.
4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
9. You have never used your dishwasher.
10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
12. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
15. You always leave your shoes at the door.
16. You have a piano in your living room.
17. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
18. You iron your own shirts.
19. You play a musical instrument.
20. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your
mouth).
21. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
22. You hate to waste food
a. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they?re going to
throw away the leftovers on the table, you?ll finish them.
b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or
one leftover chicken wing.
23. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used
but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
24. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
25. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
26. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you
visit people's homes.
27. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take
every time you stay in a hotel.
28. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or
come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take
out or go to McDonald?s.
29. Ditto paper napkins.
30. You never order room service.
31. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and
travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)...These travel
snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and
beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
32. You own a rice cooker.
33. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
34. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That?s why
you need the vinyl tablecloth).
35. Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges
that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
36. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
38. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or
law.
39. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
40. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they
prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live
in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same
neighborhood. (It's entirely possible...)
41. You don't use measuring cups.
42. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
43. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
44. Your parents house is always cold.
45. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
46. You reuse teabags.
47. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don?t write
anymore.
48. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if
you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
49. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since
calling Information costs 50 cents.
50. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you
tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
51. You're a wok user.
52. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
53. You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurants.
54. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions
a. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
55. You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
56. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
57. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it
means they're fresh.
58. You never call your parents just to say hi.
59. You always cook too much. 60. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if
you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
61. Also, if you don't live at home, your parents always want you to
come home.
62. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get
sick.
63. When you're sick, they also tell you not to eat fried foods or
baked goods because they produce hot air.
64. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only
sit 10 feet apart.
65. Your parents never go to the movies.
66. Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. Your parents use a clothes line.
69. You're always late.
70. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the
last piece of food on the table.
71. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
72. You've joined a CD club at least once.
73. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or
electronics.
74. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
75. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
76. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never
going to use them again.
77. You keep used batteries.
78. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
79. You keep most of your money in a savings account.
80. You own an MJ set and possibly have a room set up in the
basement.
81. You know what MJ means.
82. You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has.
83. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
84. You say "whie" when answering your cell phone.
85. You are familiar with the term "aiee yah...".
86. You know what moon cakes are. 87. You know why this list consists of only 88 reasons.
88. You take this message and forward it to all your Chinese
friends.

Mmmm

I've come to the conclusion that my favorite photos do not consist of people. They do not consist of buildings. Nor clothing. I love photos of food, lunch on a tray, etc., nicely done in relatively un-gross lighting. I like photos of airplane food, cafeteria food, etc. But not just a close-up shot of a candy bar or anything. It needs to be a nice complete meal all put together in an obvious, organized manner - drink, main entree, side dish, dessert. Maybe this means that more than anything in the world, I love food?

Social Commentary

A few days ago, a fellow named Alvarez decided to kill himself. At the last second, he chickened out and instead, left his jeep in the middle of some train tracks, derailed three trains, injuring 150 people and killing 11.
And now they want to give him the death sentence. Call me crazy, but wasn't this whole situation caused because he was looking for death? Wouldn't it be better to twist that final decision of choosing life by giving him life in prison? I think it'd be much more fitting to lock that idiot into a sterile, round little room, devoid of any sharp objects so he can't kill himself. That is, he won't be able to kill himself unless his drug withdrawel drove him into such a frenzied state that he might claw his own eyes out and perhaps bleed to death. Or perhaps he'll grow desperate enough that he'd be willing to go in such an undignified manner as attempting to drown himself on the only pool of standing water that might be in the room - the little hole in the corner where he would be doing his business (I remember reading about an inmate who tried that once and failed, ew).
Maybe I'm a heartless witch. Maybe I should say that his life was just messed up by drugs, a shrill wife who probably turned life into one big, warped and shrill hyperbole. Maybe he just needs some loving. Maybe he just needs some help.
I have to admit that in some part of me, I believe that that's the case - no man should ever have to suffer forever. But really, would all eleven families forgive him for what he's done?
Either way, the death sentence, especially in this instance, is most assuredly inappropriate.

Triumph

Today, studio was victory. All day, Lubetz kept stating that I was one of the quiet ones who never talked. Over and over. I told him, yes, I do. I talk plenty. I by no means keep opinions to myself. He said, yes, I'm plenty talkative, but never in class when it counts. I told him he was wrong and sat there in studio, most unhappily, listlessly listening to everyone discuss our presentation for the month. At the end of studio, we finally got around to doing what I want to do. We start looking at a couple of the projects. That's when I start talking, and I give a bit of advice, some of which Mr. Smug agrees with. And as he was leaving, he turned around and said, Angela, I owe you an apology. I said you didn't talk and you talked plenty today. I gave a pert little reply of, See? I told you. And then I thought to myself, so there! Hah!
Now all I have to do is get people to notice there's a sign outside the door to the apartment that says there is to be no smoking within 20 feet of the building...

Random Constructivism

This weekend was somewhat productive. I did my homework, that was interesting. It was also very very easy. One example:
Utility = sqrt(A*O), if A=20 and O=20, what's the utility? Umm, fifth grade math, much?
Other than that, I've been working on designing an online portfolio. It seems to be going a lot better than I had thought. The teacher liked the archival of my last semesters' final project to ask for another copy so I guess I don't have to fix it up anymore. As for all of first year's project, I have to photograph what I can, and see what can be done. I'm trying to get an internship in Manhattan this summer. I think it'd be a great learning experience, like a little trial in the big, big city. On the other hand, I'd be far, far away from my Benny-bean. Winter break already got me really depressed about being away from him, I don't know what three whole months will feel...
We spent all day today together. We just enjoyed each others' presence, watched some movies - it was nice, I even did my homework while he was watching the movie. I told him that there was something nice about just being together, not necessarily explicitly to interact, but just to enjoy being around each other. I've seen a lot of couples in this school act that way, but since Ben is so far away, I haven't actually ever enjoyed something like that. I still have to get him to watch Cowboy Bebop, he's proving to be very slippery about that. I tried to entice him towards it today by mentioning that Spike Spiegel uses Jeet Kun Do. I don't know if he heard though.
On the last note, we found a lot of bins filled with movies that were less than $10. I got Quills... ^_^

Moo

Ben came over tonight. Amidst enlightening conversation we fell asleep for a couple hours on my bed. It was nice. I really liked it. Too bad we couldn't really stay that way...
Anyhoo, I was on the verge of disappointment seeing that I was most likely only in one dance yet again, after only getting one scene in Spirit Fashion show, but I just got a lovely email that notified me that I am in not one, but TWO dances this semester. This means I really need to get down to scrubbing my shoes or I'll have nothing to dance in.
I had dance class today. We finally did more than just the warmup routine. I felt kind of stupid though, that I was fumbling all over the place. I just don't really like having someone dancing directly in front of me because that throws off my concentration... I like the class, but it's ultimately kind of frustrating...

Funness

I just had a most wonderful weekend filled with time spent with Benny-bean. We both had today off from class, so I've sseen him everyday since Friday. On Friday, we went to see "Shaun of the Dead." It started off a bit slow, but after a little while, it really picked up and I found that it was hilarious. Ben's review is, "It wasn't bad, but British humor's really not my thing."
Saturday, I went with Rachel and Evan to the furniture house of god, also known as Ikea (O yes, and Evan's house is AMAZING, it's thoroughly convinced me that I should not live on campus anymore - anyone looking for a roomie?) At 7, Ben picked me up, at which point I prompty remembered I forgot to go to dance class. Being that I probably will never remember it, I dropped the class today. We went back to his place, and we watched "the Butterfly Effect."
On Sunday, it snowed a lot, but I had my dance audition to go to. Did pretty good, I think. But then, I always think I did pretty good. Anyhoo, I danced my heart out, and then left early to be picked up by my dearest, and we went back to his place, watched a documentary on the DaVinci Code and watched "Terminator 3." Slow start, I nodded off a bit, but then I think some big noise woke me up and I stayed awake through the rest of it.
Today we went to Joann's Fabrics where I bought about $20 worth of canvas and things to sew it with, Home Depot where I bought $7 worth of wire cable, and then the hardware store where Ben works, and he got me some really super duper discounted fasteners for the cable. We got a super duper nice pizza from Vocelli's made by Ben's friend, Matt, and we ended the day by going together to the Giant Eagles by the highway and I bought around $50 worth of groceries. Mmmm, groceries. We both had a lot of fun with that.
All in all, an almost perfect weekend. Only downside is that I now have a urinary tract infection...again...

Flood

Hullo, everyone. Long time no see. I'm now back at CMU, but sadly, not back in my apartment. Upon my return, I found out, much to be disgruntlement (and that's an understatement) that there was a sewage backup in my apartment and the toilet had literally spewed out everything that was in the pipes. That must have started around Friday night, as the apartment below us started complaining to housing about leaks in their ceiling on Saturday. Housing decided it wasn't anything to worry about. At least, that's what they thought until the ceiling downstairs started caving in. "Well, that's not right...," Housing people said to themselves and when they went to inspect, there was raw sewage all over my apartment. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, RAW SEWAGE. So the fellows in dingy whites did their thing and did a prelimenary cleanup of the apartments, throwing out boxes. One box in particular was next to my desk. It contained many important things, most of which I can't remember (I'll probably remember right when I need them). Some things that I do remember were a) the key to my studio (fine of $50 is being incurred), b) all startup disks for my OS (to get replacement disks, it'll cost somewhere between $80-$180), c) 8 MB Smartmedia memory card (I don't think they even sell those anymore, but a 32 MB one is around $15) among other camera paraphrenalia, d) extra wires for my comp. O yes, and my violin case is ruined ($165). O and my drawing portfolio? Ruined. Dance shoes? Gone. I don't have a place for my computer, so I have to content myself with using labs. I don't want to have to bring my stuff all the way over to Donner where the only open room they have is on the THIRD FLOOR WITH NO ELEVATOR so I'm staying with Christi in her temporary room where I sleep on the floor (not too shabby though).
You know what also annoys me? They were joking around and making fun of the whole situation while they were cleaning up apparently. Sorry, but I don't think sewage in the room where I sleep is very funny. And also, THEY WON'T COMPENSATE FOR MY LOSSES. Well, they'd better at least pay me for the things they threw out, because that was not only a loss, it was a breach of contract. Housing Services is not allowed to touch students' personal belongings. They said so themselves. Throwing out a box full of important items is touching my personal belongings. So there.
Can you tell I've been in a terrible, horrible, very bad mood lately? And I'm tired, but there's no where I can go to take a nap.

Oops

Tonight I think I did a bad thing. And I think it could very much potentially damage my life, socially. I just felt this anger tonight when I was looking at a particular something and that led me to some internet snooping/stalking. And I do believe I've just ruined something precious for my best friend...
I really should just keep my nose where it belongs...
I'm sorry...

Neurotic

Yes, yes I am. Neurotic. What does it mean? What does it all mean? I already shook an opinion out my my sister. But what does it mean?
Here, read it yourself, give me your thoughts...

In Pursuit of Something Interesting to Say:
I found this poster an... interesting read. This is also the muse of my post about bigotry.
Bigotry:
I wanted to dedicate this post to an evil in our society. I wanted to express my disdain for people who abdicate this position. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with a gift for writing. My skills are mediocre at best. I believe that everyone has a role in life. Some are seen as more important than others in our society, but I believe that all are equally important. I think men who see themselves as superior to women are wrong. They have an unfounded belief. Not only that, but they have made an ignorant judgment. I put this in the same category of people who believe that different ethnic groups are superior to others. This is groundless ignorance. However, I also believe that the emasculation of men in our society is as great an evil. Why can we not allow men to be men and women to be women? Why do we have to justify ourselves by putting others down? What ever happened to the golden rule?

Am I stupid? Why don't I understand? What's this? Someone tell me? I can't fathom how I could possibly be a "muse." Am I a muse? Is that meant to be sarcasn? What? Huh? May and I did some detective work and whittled things down to my entry called "the Monsters We Create" on August 11, 2004 and "the Holocaust of the Carrots" on...whatever day it was. Still, what is it? What does it all imply? I can't find much in the way of direct relation. It's definitely me he's referring to though, as I discovered the title was actually a link to my blog. Yes, yes, I'm definitely neurotic... And I need to brush up on my reading comprehension skills...