Shameless

So I got a message from Michael at the end of the workday saying that he would really like to sit down and have a talk with me. Shit. I get home and I just go into my room because I didn't want to deal with it. I was ready to just plop down on the couch and go, "All right, yell at me. I can tell you've been saving up for it." Marlen came home and said that she talked to Michael about it a little. He yet again had no idea why I was mad, and she told him that the email he wrote me was bitchy and bitter and called me a horrible nag and made me sound like I was less than a human being. We discussed it all a bit which made me feel better and helped me compose my thoughts.
Then Marlen went to go shower and I went to start dinner. While that was going on, Michael floats out of his room like a teary-eyed little ghost and stands there snuffling and goes, "I'm so sorry. I never should have yelled at you. That was a horrible thing for me to do. I shouldn't have done it. I will never do it again. I want us to be okay. Will we be okay? Are you okay with me? What can I do to make us okay again?" I just noticed all the "I"s and "me"s in the conversation. I gave him a very composed answer and stated that he basically needs to leave me alone because I'm really hurt. Not mad, but hurt. And I don't think he believes me, but it's nevertheless how I feel. And I told him straight out that I think he was flipping out on me because I was pulling away from him due to my hurt feelings. I doubt much of it sank in. He went snuffling away back into his room.
So Marlen comes out and we're talking and laughing and organizing our dinner and then Michael comes out after sobbing loudly and asks us with tears streaming down his face if he can have some of our food.

Shameless.

But what the heck are you supposed to say to that? But quite truly, I had only planned to cook for Marlen and me, so there really was only enough for Marlen and me and I said that if there was anything left he could have some. And he snuffled and went back into his room. And some time later, he came out and said he was going to Chris's, took his sweet time getting ready, asking us which outfit of his looked better, and then was on his way. Boy did we feel better after that. It was a really yummy dinner. I look forward to making "pizotto" again.

I can't really yell at Michael, mostly because he doesn't seem to understand what we say, and is more interested in deflecting blame and being on the defensive than actually taking any sort of constructive criticism. And so, my only conclusion is that I have to remove myself from his life and just wait out the rest of the lease.

I also managed to tell Marlen straight out that I didn't think this apartment was working. I don't want to live with Michael, and the whole living arrangement with Marlen isn't working. And then Marlen is possibly going off to grad school. With all of these, I think that I should just move back in to Erica's. And I think Marlen was a little sad, but she agreed and said that she wouldn't want me to sign on to something with her only to have her leave a few months after.

Things are going better.