Lonely

My next subway observation: Yesterday, a woman sat across from me from the stop at Times Square till the stop at Vernon. The first thing I noticed was that she looked like she stepped out of the baby ward at the hospital - everything on her was pastel, including her baby yellow sneakers with lavender shoelaces and baby blue ankle socks. The second thing I noticed was that she was extremely nervous. She never sat back in the seat, rather perched herself like a giant albatross on the edge of the seat, always something ticking, whether it was the side of the mouth or her finger or her foot. Her eyes kept darting back and forth, like she was just waiting for something to happen. I'm not sure what she was waiting for, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she's deathly afraid of germs. At any rate, I looked down for one second when the contents of my bag shifted at the sudden stop at Vernon, and all I saw was a lavender figure darting out as fast as possible out of the corner of my eye. She really didn't like being on the subway.
I, as you can probably tell by now, quite enjoy the subway. There's a lot of interesting things to see. If I ever went to France, you can bet I'd be one of those people who would just sit ouside a cafe and drink Parisien coffee as I watch the world go by.
Also, I'm just plain lonely. I don't have any friends that I can hang out with here. Everyday, it's work till 6:30, leave and get back at 7:30. After that, I would eat dinner, help Gramma clean up, and then it's 9. Sometimes, I'll call my Benny-bean, but still, talking to him on the phone and actually seeing him are two different things entirely. I sit in front of the laptop with AIM on desperately hoping to see a friend pop online, but then it's 10, and if I'm ever to wake up on time, that's when I must go. Everything is very nice and structured in my day, I get enough sleep, I get enough time to eat, but I'm just lonely. What's there to do in NY? Nothing without friends, really. I can't very well go into Manhattan all alone after dark, or my gramma will freak out. I don't have time to make friends. So I'm pretty much stuck here, all alone. Lonely, lonely, lonely...