Frayed

In the past 2 days, I've slept about 3.5 hours, or rather, I've tried to sleep for 3.5 hours. Mostly I lay there in extreme discomfort. All the muscles in my arms and back are knotted up, for god sakes, the muscles in my thumb were knotted up for an hour. I've had too many cups of coffee to count and I'm crashing. I can't color between the lines, my vision goes blurry for a few minutes every couple of hours, my hands are shaking. And right now, I'm upset beyond belief.
Max cut off the tip of his finger. Not just a little bit of the tip, a lot of it. He was bleeding a lot and then Ben speared the tip on an olfa cutter to examine it. I started feeling really sick and then I really snapped. I just said, "I have to go," and I practically ran all the way back to the apartment. Then I cried, not a lot, but a bit. That's the last straw, I'm not going back to studio tonight, I don't care. I have 1.5 drawings left to do, but I don't care. I'll flip out even worse than I did just now if I go back tonight. I can't go back.