I despise popups. I went to a friend's site which apparently is hosted by spyware - spyware which tried very hard to take over my browser so that everytime I opened up Internet Explorer, I'd get big white screens that wouldn't let me do anyting except hit Alt-F4. Stupid Spyware, changing my home page back to MSN. But ha! I have Ad Aware and I got rid of the spyware hack stuff and now I can write about my boring old feelings on my blog.
Today I feel unaccomplished. As wonderful as it is that the teachers finally approve of my bench, it makes me sad that 1) the bench isn't all that interesting - it's just a bunch of egg crates stuck together and 2) I still think it's ugly. I just know when it comes time for us to present at the end of the semester, I will be looked over yet again, just like every other time in my life. I feel like all I've ever been is status quo. Despite the fact that I'm above average in intelligence, no one has ever said anything like "Wow, it's Angela, the really smart girl." Similarly no one has ever been even slightly in awe of my violin playing or my dancing, or my artwork or really anything I do. All I ever am is average. Right now I just wish I stood out in some way - even as "that scary girl in the corner who is very b****y." However all I ever seem to come off as is "O yah, Angela. She's cool, really negative though." And then there's nothing else to talk about. I'm not sure what it is exactly that makes me so boring. Right now I wish I was special. I wish I had someone who really understands what it's like to work so hard all one's life and get nothing out of it. I wish I could be really really good at something.