I am so glad that Thanksgiving is coming up. I haven't seen any of my family in ages. Also, I have to grade 120 homeworks for statics. I still have a whole bunch for GIS, but my parents don't own the technology I require to grade it, so I have to do it all here. I also think I screwed up my timesheets...Ooops...

Blegh

I am so full, I think I'm going to die. If I look at food now, I'll throw up...

Is it Winter Yet?

This morning I woke up to the strange feeling that it ought to be snowing outside. I think the sky being completely overcast and white, me being buried under a giant quilt in a nice warm bed and the air in my room being much chillier than my quilt all combined to make me feel that way. Unfortunately, the still-leafy branch hanging just outside my window is a sure telltale sign that there is no snow. If I didn't have anything going on today, I'd be perfectly willing to just pretend we had just experienced a nor'easter and the only thing to do is curl back up in bed with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. I miss hot chocolate...and childhood...

Happy Halloween!

Happy All Hallows! This year, I was a toned-down goth - by toned down I mean that I don't seem to have any goth jewelry left, and I can't find my fishnet. I settled on being Emily the Strange, with my hair being long and me having bangs like hers. Except I don't have white mary-janes so I wore black knee-high boots. It's funny that no one could really tell I was "in costume." I guess the black lipstick is still no indication I'm not pretending to be the usual me.
Strange side-effect of being dressed up - me in my sexy-Emily-the-Strange costume and Waz in her sexy-cat costume - we were walking out of class after chatting with a professor and he caught up with us to ask if we'd be servers and bartenders at his annual Christmas party. We giggled a lot the whole time because we thought it was a joke, but now that I think of it, I think he's serious...Bartending at the professor's annual holiday party...could be interesting, no?

Random Thought not for the Prudish of Mind

The strangest most akward thing about taking dance class with guys is that they are constantly readjusting themselves in their tights, if you know what I mean. It's really disturbing how often they're readjusting. Really, don't they notice? Don't they notice anybody else noticing?

Dance Envy

Let me just say, I love Wade Robson's work. I wish I could dance like him, choreograph like him. I'd love to work for him or something. He just did something for Dancing with the Stars this week - abc.com, DWTS 10/18 show about 20 minutes in. It's amazing, worth watching. Makes me want to dance...

Chai Tea

This week, our dance teacher wasn't around so he replaced himself with a Tai Chi instructor. I think it's an interesting form a martial arts, and it does give a person a good workout, but my god... The whole relaxation and slow movement thing was starting to drive me crazy. I started feeling claustrophobic towards the end actually, where my legs felt the need to start running as fast as possible, and I wanted to scream and flail my arms around. I don't think Tai Chi is for me.
O and never do Tai Chi when you're sleepy.

Conversations Long Missed

Today I talked to Ben. It's been about a month since we last talked, and about two weeks since we'd emailed. I know we're not together, but it's difficult not having him to talk to. I really missed the way he could talk to me about anything. We caught up on each others lives - he moved out of his parents house, even went on a date with some girl. Turned out she was crazy, and he just wasn't ready to date yet. I'm glad, I was a little surprised because I don't think I can really move on from him yet. It was so soon.
We talked about my trip to Copenhagen. I think me talking about the people I met there all the time really hurt him because it made him feel as if there was a part of me he couldn't reach, or something along those lines.
When we were about to hang up, he asked me if there was any chance we might ever get back together. I told him that we probably shouldn't consider it now, as I might be leaving when I graduate. I think that must have really hurt him, and I wish I could have just said that yes, I miss him and want to be with him again. But it wouldn't have been right for us, and I don't like always giving him empty promises.
What was nice, though, was that he said that I could call him whenever I wanted.

The Perils of Living by a Church

This morning, I was in the bathroom going through my morning routine. As I was sitting and ... peeing (pardon me), I suddenly heard the voices of several children laugh and go, "Hello!" Wondering where the heck that came from, I looked out the 2-inch crack in the window we left open and see several children from across the airshaft in the church window LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. They must have heard me...they must have heard my roommates! I sat there for a few minutes thinking about what to do, decided I would not make a great moment for them by shutting the window immediately in supposed humiliation. Instead, I waited for a good five minutes, then shut the window and continued with my usual routine.
So now I'm faced with the dilemma of what to do about the window. If I leave it closed, the bathroom can steam up during a shower. If I leave it open, prying pre-teen eyes will most likely see everything they really shouldn't be seeing. I hate children...

Foot Problems

Last night, while working in the computer lab, my foot started to swell. To the point where I couldn't put on my shoes and had to borrow Ken's flip flops in order to walk home. I went to health services to get it looked at. First they sent in some intern girl who had no bedside manner whatsoever. She took a peek and said that I should wear shoes with better support. To which I replied that the swelling is not from me suddenly going barefoot, as I've been running around all of campus barefoot for the past 4 years, and that I dance barefoot. Everyday. I think my skepticism at her diagnosis led her to get the lady who's in charge of her, whatever they're called. Teacher/doctor-lady took a look and said that there was some swelling and that it might be a fracture. I was hoping for circulation problem, but when pressed, she suddenly jumped to the conclusion of gout. Yes, despite the fact that I'm young, slender, not male, don't drink or eat seafood, I must have gout...
Now I'm just really upset, though. What if it's a fracture? Does that mean no more dancing?

Totally Not Okay

Theft is not cool, even when it is just an idea. It's not cool even if it's just for "a stupid concept exercise." I thought for a good couple hours in order to develop the idea that I did, and I thought it was a really good and unique idea. And now that those guys have taken it and screwed with it, my idea no longer feels so shiny and new. Get your own ideas, I hate cheaters.

Who Woulda' Thunk

Today before dance class, Michelle the teacher came over to where I was stretching and sat down, going, "Angela, I have to talk to you." To which I thought, "Uh oh, what am I doing wrong..."
But it turns out that she and my other teacher, Peter, needed an extra face for a video production they're making and thought that me with my acres of bangs would be perfect. Who would have thought my bangs would make me distinguishable enough for people to actually want to film me (albeit for just 5 minutes).
Woohoo! I'm gonna be famous!!! no, not really.

The Indignity

This morning while walking to class, I saw a little boy about 3 years old walking to his school with his dad. I was in a hurry to get by so the dad pulls the kid to the side and said, "Come on, move over. This lady's in a hurry." So I hike on by and hear a tiny little voice go, "She looks like a boy, daddy, she looks like a boy." At that point, I sort of did a snort/guffaw because really, I'm just not sure what to think about that. I didn't hike too quickly, so I was within earshot and the "Is that a boy or girl" topic continued for at least another two or three minutes.
Okay, so I don't think I looked like a boy. I was wearing close fitting jeans and nice shoes. I suppose my hair looked short because I have it tied into a bun for dance class. I guess I need to give the kid some credit, most children at his age think girls have long hair and boys have short hair and mine being black just blends back in on itself.
O, and I'm going to be wearing my hair down for the rest of the day.

Busy Weekend

Now that I'm feeling a little more chipper, I can dish on the weekend. After classes ended, I went home and sat around. Hannah said she would drive us all to the grocery store and then come over for dinner. First she had to run an errand so I went home to clean. And clean I did. I bleached all the kitchen counters, washed all the dishes and was in the process of bleaching the bathroom counter when they all got to the apartment. We went to the nice Giant Eagle on Center Ave where I took advantage of buy 1 get 1 free chicken day. At 7:30 we got back to the apartment where I commenced being Master Chef. I love delegating, really I do. I had Hannah washing and cutting fruit, Ken cutting onions (for some reason, the burn doesn't bother him) and ... well, I had Waz helping, but I can't remember on what. It took about two hours, but in the end, for dinner we had Lemon Chicken, Moro and for desert, a Baba au Rhum. I think everyone really liked it, because there was only a couple bites of Moro left, no chicken and this morning I walked into the kitchen for breakfast and Ken and Brian were helping themselves to the last of the Baba au Rhum. I can cook! Congratulate me!
Today I spent mostly watching Quantum Leap online and grading homework. At 8:30 I went to auditions, fumbled through hip hop, glided through modern (such a lovely dance) and break dancing? Umm, let's just say I'm going to be sore and bruised in the morning. I think even if I don't make it into the group, I had a good time.

Really the moment people leave, I become depressed. I really shouldn't be left alone to think, because the moment I start to think, it's of him and why we're so distant. I hate my life right now.
O and in case you don't know (I don't recall if I've mentioned this) I have insomnia now, like from freshman year when I was so lonely that all I can do is sit on the internet and repeatedly click on my email, checking in the vain hope that someone really wants to speak to me. Except no one really does, so I'm alone, tired and desperate.
Well, at least my food turned out well...

What Makes a Relationship

I emailed a certain someone the other day hoping that we could make peace and be friends. Today I got a reply that he really liked talking to me so long as we were dating, but now, as "just friends" there's nothing much to talk about. He doesn't even want to be around me unless we are dating. What is that supposed to mean? It really makes me wonder about how we were. Did he ever really care about what I had to say? If he can't find anything to say to me now, then how could he ever have said that he loved me? Does kissing versus not kissing a guy really make that much of a difference in the enjoyment of conversation?
From now on, all my relationships will begin as friendships - this is in the hope that I can still have someone to speak to when all is said and done. He used to be a source of comfort, someone I can hug when I feel like crying. And now I have no one.

A Mistress Blog

Today, I was telling my sister about Paella night, and somehow the topic of putting my recipes online came up. And so, starting today, I have two blogs. I will stay forever faithful to this blog, as it has documented my life for the past six years. I am now also using livejournal as my online recipe book - my ID there is also Irenia321. If you want to learn how to make a great chicken paella, go visit my livejournal. Go go. You know you want to.

Weekends are fun

A few days ago, my sister sent me a recipe on New York Times for a tomato paella. Struck with the sudden inspiration of it and the memory of a seafood paella our family had once at a Portuguese restaurant, I decided to make the dish, and embellish it with chicken and bell peppers. Seeing as I had a humongous skillet, and the recipe was 4-6 servings, I asked if Ken, Brian and Waz would like to join for dinner. Well, only Ken made it for dinner at dinner time, and not only did he help cook(he chopped the onions, my eyes thank him), he also helped carry things and made coffee. I am constantly amazed that he opens doors for me and carries my stuff. And washes dishes...
Our wonderful dinner consisted of paella, coffee, and for desert, flan. Very yummy, good combination. Though, I feel like I should have steeped the saffron a little to bring out its flavor in the rice. Later, Zach, Patrick, Sammy and Hannah came over and helped themselves to leftovers. Brian joined in much, much later as well.
Overall a nice evening of improptu entertainment. I think I should make a habit of it. I really like to cook for people and it gives me something to do so I won't be bored or depressed.
On the agenda for next week - moro and lemon chicken. Delish!

O, and after the dinner, we watched Babel, which I found to be just about one of the most depressing movies I've ever experienced...

Still Sad

During the week, it's not so bad. I think it's because I'm so busy, I don't think about it. But then, the weekend comes and I sit here alone. I'm an insomniac again, just like freshman year. I go to bed at 1 a.m. and wake up at 5. My eyes are still sleepy feeling, but I just can't fall back asleep, so I just get up and stare at the internet until I absolutely have to move. And there's no one online at 5 am...who am I waiting for? I wish a certain someone would call.

Teaching

Today is my first day of teaching the grad GIS class. Everyone's older than me...teehee...
Also, the computers in the Heinz school are the only ones I've found where the MSN Messenger is installed. However, there's nothing that can access AIM. There's also no AutoCAD on these computers, but if you feel like it, apparently you can play SimCity if you're bored. I guess since the school teaches policy management, SimCity is a good way to play pretend-mayor...I wonder if I can start a game and just keep working on my pretend city during labs when no one has questions. Wow, I could be paid for playing SimCity! Sweet!...