It's very sad. Everyone's leaving. I'm all alone.
Not really, I still have a few friends here who have to stay even longer than i do. I spent all evening in their room. I feel a little bad about imposing myself on them like that, but hey, they haven't complained. Though, maybe my one friend doesn't quite appreciate my being sprawled out on his bed doing my homework...
Anyway, that first sentence was inspired by some depressing blogs that I found. That started when I was reading little bits about the Danbury-native star that recently decided to hang himself (I'm so sad about that *sniff*). Well, anyway, while trying to find more information on this incident, I came across a blog, some girl who mentions him once, and as I read it, the whole thing consisted of the phrase "I want to kill myself," "I think I should kill myself," or "I think that my friend, so-and-so, wants me to kill myself." Just a little depressing to read. And then my roomate mentioned the blogs belonging to anorexics, where all they do is post pictures of super skinny people and super fat people, and list what they ate that day (which is unhealthy - a grape and a leaf of lettuce is NOT enough caloric intake for a day). Strange people...

So life's going. I was talking with my roomate about blogs today, or rather, yesterday, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't really reflect much on my blog, at least, not lately. I think much of the blandness stems from the fact that I fear the reactions of those who read it who disagree with my views (those who have been reading this blog for a long time may be aware of the bumpy start I had with this blog). So I decided that I think I'll start by reflecting on my sister. Sure, you might get mad at me, sis, but hell, we're still sisters, and you'll forgive me of my opinion in the long run.
I think that you might be overreacting quite a bit with adding a password to your site. I was reading it and I don't really blame other people for being offended at the "F*** you all!" statement, because it is quite rude. Everything with it just makes me think that your a rude, pouty little snot with petty little peeves that you like to make into mountains. If you must insult the world, reason it out. If there have been certain people pissing you off, say how or something. If it's a farce, be sure that's clear to the majority of the readers. Don't alienate people, sis. Being alone isn't fun. Trust me.

I don't think I like my sister's pants. Teehee.

Well, it's been a while hasn't it? Today was supposedly the last day of classes. For the last day of class, it was sure busy. No lunch break, crits from 10 30 to 6 30 with only one hour off for history class. But it's all over, and I'm happy. All I have to do is one last pin up and move all my stuff out of the studio and I'm all set for the rest of the year. I can't wait for a day where I can just mooch around my room and *gasp* sleep for more than 10 hours!

Last one. God I must be bored to do all these. God you must be bored to read all these.

name : Angela
birthday :3.21.85
height: 5'4"
hair color : dark brown/black depending on the light
length : short is good
pets : none


»Last...
song you listened to : "Gravity of Love" by Enigma
song you had stuck in your head : "My Life" by Dido
song you've downloaded : I don't download...(take that, CSW!)
person you were thinking of : I'm not telling


»Do..
you have a bf or gf : ha! no.
you have a crush on someone : I wouldn't call it a crush.
you wish you could live somewhere else : yes. a house, with a bathroom nearby
you think about suicide : not really
others find you attractive : they did for a while, but as usualy, interest in me fades
you want more piercings: my body is a temple
you want more tattoos : my body is a temple
you write in cursive or print : cursive


»For or against...
long distance relationships : I am all for people being happy
using someone : for, for certain things that they'd prob forgive in the long run
suicide : for, it's your choice, but please, think of ALL the consequences
killing people : against, it's not your choice, but if the person were dying of cancer or suffering in a similar manner and begs me, i think i would
teenage smoking : Against
doing drugs : Against
driving drunk : Against - think of the innocent people those idiots kill
gay/lesbian relationships : It's their choice, so I guess I'm for

»Favorite...
food : Mom's unique brand of half chinese, half japanese styled kung pao chicken
song : you see, I go through weekly obsessions
thing to do : vegetate
thing to talk about : my shitty lack of a romance life (yes I'm so frustrated, I've resulted to swearing)
sports : Dance
clothes : Black, skanky goth outfits
movies : Fight Club, Moulin Rouge (for the dancing), Center Stage (for the dancing), Bicentennial Man (for the scenery)
holiday : Christmas
car : A car would be nice


»Have you...
ever cried over a girl/boy : Never one specifically, just the whole plight
ever lied to someone : who hasn't?
ever been in a fist fight/arrested : I fight on a weekly basis, now. I got 5 bruises tonite, got punched 2 times in the face, but no bruises there


»Number...
of times I have had my heart broken : it's breaking
of hearts I have broken : no one likes me enough for that
of boys I have kissed : none
of girls I have kissed : none
of drugs taken illegally : by drugs you mean...
of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life: umm
of people I consider my enemies: I don't hate any one person THAT much
of scars : one on my thigh from my frustrations with balsa wood and a sharp x-acto blade, one on my hand from my kitty who I was holding when my mom (who kitty doesn't like) walked in, and I think I'm gonna have 2 on my thumb knuckles from the pneumatic chisler that vibrated my skin off, literaly
of things in my past that I regret?: much


»Last person who..
slept in your bed : other than me? Richard falls asleep on it
made you cry : May's teacher, Jeff, mean Cooper Union people...
you shared a drink with : I try not to do that actually, though Richard I suppose
you went to the movies with : I went with Rachel adn Adam, Galen, Leo, Corey, Ivan, ummm
went to the mall with : Rachel and Adam, Galen, Leo and Ivan
threatened they were going to kill you : people don't usually do that, though Marc my sifu person for Shaolin Boxing sorta mentioned somethign like that...

»Have you ever..
said "I love you" and meant it?: no, I love no one, because no one has given me a reason to love them, and it requires a lot of trust and time. You know, I can't even admit to loving any particular activity/movie/anything with absolute sincerity
gotten in a fight: yes, though its more sparring
been to New York?: often
been to Florida?: DisneyWorld!
California?: DisneyLand!
Mexico?: no
got a really bad feeling about something then it happened?: yes, constantly
wished you were the opposite sex?: considered it, but it's infinitely easier in this world to be female, unless you were pregnant


» This or that..
Red or Blue?: Red, crimson, ochre, etc.
Spring or Fall?: fall
Santa or Rudolph?: neither
Math or english?: art
What are you going to do after you finish this survey?: I have to pee really bad, but this thing is strangely addictive...
What was the last food you ate?: milky way bar
High school or college?: COLLEGE - though high school was definitely closer to home

» Random...
Are you bored?: yes
Last movie you saw?: Fight club
Last noise you heard?: the cough of my roomie, it's really bad, poor Rachel
Last time you went out of the state: I AM out of state
Things you like in a guy: I can be comfortable around him

What book are you reading now?: Green Gold, by Iris and Alan MacFarlane - for class that is
Favorite board game?: Scrabble
Favorite magazine?: Architectural Digest, National Geographic
Worst feeling in the world?: being sick

How many rings before you answer?: 2
Future daughter's name: Arinaya
Future son's name?: Nathaniel
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: yes
Eye Color: brown
College Plans: Masters in Architecture
Hobbies: Crafts, reading, music
Are You Timely Or Always Late: on time
Do You Have A Job: used to, wish i do now
Do You Like Being Around People: sometimes

» Stuff..
Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with : never loved anyone
Have You Ever Cried Over Something Someone of The Opposite Sex Did : Didn't I answer this already? O wait, I didn't. Umm, no not really.
Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After : no
Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now : you can't tell? Then clearly you're stupid or blind.
Ever Liked a close Guy Friend in a bisexual way: huh?
Are You Lonely Right Now: very
Ever Afraid You'll Never Get Married: it doesn't bother me
Do You Want To Get Married: didn't I answer this one too? it doesn't matter, but I'm not against it at all
Do You Want Kids: not currently


» Favorite
Room In house: living room
Type of music: heavy metal - but only if there's a distinct tune
Memory: Chiang Kai Shek garden, being absolutely alone for just a few moments in that serene, quiet place...*sigh
Day Of The Week: Friday night
Flower: Crimson rose
Month: October


» In the last 48 hours, have you..
Cried: came close to, but no
Bought Something: balsa wood, yes
Gotten Sick: no, thank god
Said I Love You: to whom, may i ask?
Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them, But Didn't: not love, more like
Met Someone New: no
Talked To Someone: i should hope so
Had A Serious Talk: yah
Missed Someone: very much so
Hugged Someone: I need a hug
Kissed Someone: never kissed anyone
Fought With Your Parents: no, miss them too much to do that
Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: i don't know if I can't be with him, but he was in my dream...
Had a lot of sleep: I plan on getting that, hopefully
Wanted This Survey To Be Over: it's over? well, huh, whatever will I do with myself without more questions to answer?

- Like your name?: Not my english one. My chinese one I quite like
- Were you named after anyone?: A princess who committed suicide - nice huh?
- Do you wish on stars?: I wish that worked
- Which finger is your favorite?: my pinkies
- When did you last cry?: I missed home and was frustrated with a lot of things, ok?
- Do you like your handwriting?: my cursive is pretty
- Who do you admire?: Eric and Sylvia
- What is the #1 priority in your life?: Be happy
- What is your favorite lunchmeat?: I don't like lunch meat, but if I had to choose, I choose pastrami
- Any bad habits?: Chew on my lip, constantly
- What is your favorite animal?: Wolf, though I don't know if that's because of Sylvia's influence...Whatever it is, it's definitely mammalian
- If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?: no
- Are you a daredevil?: you're kidding, right?
- Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?: Only to my sis, cuz we tell each other everything
- Have you ever stolen anything?: Yes.
- Do looks matter?: Yes, I didn't realize how much until I donned black lipstick
- Have you ever miss used a word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: YES
- Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: no, it's impossible
- Do fish have feelings?: Yes, as do oysters
- Are you trendy?: I have my own trends
- How do you release anger?: I can't
- Where is your second home?: here at CMU
- Do you trust others easily?: No, no one has yet convinced me otherwise, but i'm open to giving someone a chance
- What was your favorite toy as a child?: Annie, my dolly
- What class in school do you think is useless shit? CSW! Just cuz I failed the test doesn't mean I cheat. I cheat less than most of the people who passed!
- Do you like sappy love songs?: when I'm sad I suppose
- Have you ever been on radio or television?: Yes - Good morning america. I was quoted and everything. The filming took hours! But we got free lunch. But I don't like sandwiches.
- Do you have a journal?: What am I writing on?
- Do you use sarcasm a lot?: I wonder...
- Have you ever been in another country?: YEs
- What do you look for in a guy/girl?: I don't look for any one thing, but if they catch my interest..
- What is your nickname?: Mini-May, Mini-Chi, Chi chi (tho I don't like that one), Chi, Anjela, Anj
- Would you bungee jump?: Only if my heart can take it
- Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: What laces? I wear sandals!
- What are you worried about right now?: Not getting all my work done for monday, not getting home for Thanksgiving
- Do you ever wear overalls?: I forgot about those. I think I will when I get home...
- Do you think you are strong?: No
- What's your least favorite thing in the world?: Sadness
- How many wisdom teeth do you have?: 2, they're coming in tho, so I'll get them yanked in the summer, and then I'll take vicoden for no reason, cuz it doesn't work on me
- What would you change about yourself?: I wish I could be more assertive, more diplomatic, be gorgeous (I know, that last one's shallow)
- Who is most likely to respond to this first?: it's a blog
- Who are the people you care most about?: by that I assume who would I cry over if they died - Mom, Dad, May, Marlen, Eric, Sylvia, Jon, Ling, Gramma, myself (tho it's hard to cry when one is dead)

I...
- I see: nothing
- I need: a meaningful hug from someone that matters to me
- I find: stuff I lose
- I have: work
- I wish: for free time
- I love: nothing
- I hate: mean people
- I miss: home
- I fear: pain
- I feel: sad
- I hear: the buzz of electronics, the cough of my super-sick roomie (poor Rachel)
- I smell: air
- I wonder: what my life would be like
- I regret: much

I couldn't help it, I succumb to the dreaded lists:

[Jewelry worn daily]: watch, always oval gold, with a thin black leather strap
[Pillow]: kinda lumpy actually
[Shoes]: Sandals! for as long as possible. Then black boots.
[Favorite top]: A black shirt that has a collar, no buttons
[Favorite bottoms]: My new fake cargo pants that have wierd pockets
[Cologne/Perfume]: What's that? I shower daily, don't need that stuff
[CD in stereo right now]: By stereo, I assume sound system...no CD, just mp3s
[Piercings]: my body is a temple which I shall not violate with mutilation
[Hair]: if I had my way, it'd be short and spiked, but then people wouldn't know if I'm a girl or boy, so it's kinda shortish longish, with romulan bangs
[What you are wearing now]: Nike athletic shirt, Mudd yoga pants, and other unmentionables (teehee)
[In my mouth]: mm, saliva
[In my head]: "Gravity of Love" by Enigma
[After this]: I have to pee really bad
[Talking to]: Rachel, though she's coughing a lot
[The last thing you ate?]: Milky Way, that's my chocolate for the month
[Some of your favorite movies]: Lord of the Rings, Castle in the Sky, Fight Club
[Something that you are deathly afraid of]: Spiders, bugs
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: No
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: No
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: a doggie, a small one who can take care of itself, doesn't make noise and looks cute
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Manhattan (not NY, Manhattan specifically), Tokyo, Paris
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: Humans
[In the last 24 hours, have you]
1. Cried: no
2. Bought something: with a meal block, yes
3. Gotten sick: no, but my roomie is
4. Sang: no, but I put exactly enough water into a glass bottle to get a concert A when you blow on it
5. Eaten: Pasta, chips, cookie, pasta, 1 (only 1!) piece of candy
7. Felt stupid: o yes, history does that all the time - same with sparring
8. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: I wouldn't say love, more like...Like
9. Met someone new: new...no
10. Moved on: from what?
11. Talked to an ex: that would require having one
12. Missed an ex: refer to #11
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: I guess...
14. Had a serious talk: Umm, no not really
15. Missed someone: I miss Mommy and Daddy, and May, and Sylvia and Eric and Marlen and Rob, and and and ...
16. Hugged someone: No. Last hug I got was at midsemester. I need a hug...
17. Fought with your parent: No, I miss mommy and daddy...
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: I don't think so....

[Who]
1. Have you known the longest: My mommy, and daddy, and May
2. Do you argue the most with: umm, May
3. Do you always get along with: umm, Chappie
4. Is the trustworthiest: Marlen ^_^
5. Makes you laugh the most: I have to say, currently, its Corey
6. Has been there through all the hard times: Marlen
7. Has the coolest parents: I do I do!
8. Have the coolest siblings: Eric and Sylvia!
9. Is the most blunt: I guess I am...
10. Is the smartest: SAT score wise, me. Everything else wise, most certainly not me.

[Personal]
1. Who is your role model: Eric and Sylvia
2. What is some of your pet peeves: When people take my pencils and either lose them or return them damaged or use the eraser
3. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes, but now that I look back, I'm glad I had no chance with him
4. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: Never over one person specifically. More over my stupid plight.
5. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: No, but I usually find them interesting.
6. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): Bien sur. I lie to everyone. The CSW test I failed says I'm morally inept.
7. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: Yes.
8. Rather be dumper or dumped: I don't know. I'll let you know when I've been in either situation
9. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": relationship...tho I do count friends with benefits as relationship tho some see it as hookup...or something
10. Want someone you don't have right now: yes
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: I don't have a best guy friend
12. Do you want to get married: Possibly
13. Do you want kids: Not at the moment. Ask me after I finish menopause.
14. Do you believe in psychics: Physics is the science of reality. Unfortunately, it's totally incomprehensible.
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: No. I love no one.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: I don't really like my physical appearance, but I have to say I'm glad my eyes and lips aren't all tiny
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: emotional being?
18. Are you happy with you: no
19. Are you happy with your life: no
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: I wish to know more about how people think, and I wish I didn't have an ego

Have you...
1. Fallen for your best friend?: No, I am not a lesbian, sorry boys...
3. Been rejected?: I don't put myself in that position
4. Been in love?: I love no one
5. Used someone?: it's not above me
6. Been used?: I don't know...
8. Done something you regret?: Always. If I start humming randomly, you know I'm regretting.

Who was the last person..
9. You touched?: I guess it was that girl in sparring, if by touch you mean punch...
10. You talked to?: Rachel
12. You instant messaged?: Rob, but he went to bed
14. You had sex with?: VIRGIN = Angela
15. You yelled at?: I don't yell
16. You laughed with?: Rachel
17. Who broke your heart?: My heart is breaking
18. Who told you they loved you?: No one

Do you..
19. Color your hair?: With crayons! No just joking. My hair is perfect the way it is
20. Have tattoos?: My body is a temple. I shall not mutilate it with needles and dyes
21. Have piercings?: My body is a temple. I shall not mutilate it with needles
22. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Never did, it'd be interesting
23. Own a webcam?: No, wouldn't know how they work
24. Own a thong?: No, but I have G-strings. Several. They go on my violin.
25. Ever get off the damn computer?: Yes, often.
27. Habla espanol?: No hablo. Vamos a comer! (is that how you spell it)
28. Quack?: Cackle

Have you / do you / are you...
29. Stolen anything?: yes
30. Smoke?: yuck
32. Obsessive?: Yes.
33. Compulsive?: Yes.
34. Obsessive compulsive?: YES
35. Panic?: YES
36. Anxiety?: YES
37. Depressed?: not clinically, but I sure felt that way
38. Suicidal?: no, my body is a temple
39. Obsessed with hate?: perhaps
40. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: No

*Questions*
41. If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: home with people I care for
42. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: My body is...o don't make me type it all out again.
43. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: I always look at the nose first
44. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: If she's the one for the job...
45. Would you marry for money?: No, but if my one true love happened to be rich, than sure
46. Have you had braces?: Twice
47. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: Yup
48. Do you like hairy backs?: I don't know, if I ever have a bf with one, I'll decide
50. Could you live without a computer?: no
51. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc: AIM
52. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 84
54. Do you wear white socks?: Yes
55. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: What shoes? But yes, it's the Chinese way
56. Your favorite fruit?: Bartlett Pears, when they're crunchy
57. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: White, though I prefer dinner rolls
58. What is your favorite place to visit?: Chiang Kei-sheik memorial place in Taipei, the gardens, when no one is there but me, so I can sit alone and ponder
59. What is the last movie you saw?: In the theater? Pirates of the Caribbean. Otherwise, Fight Club!
61. Are you photogenic?: Once in a blue moon
62. Do you dream in color or black and white?: Always rich colors
63. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: yes
64. Is it chipped or fresh?: very chipped
65. Do you have any dimples?: not that I can see
66. Do you remember being born?: no
67. Why do you take surveys?: They looked o so fun until I reached #67
68. Do you drink alcohol?: I take a sip occasionally, but it's not that interesting
69. Did you like or do you like high school?: Not really.
70. What is the best accent?: Accent...I do enjoy the high class German's English, or the high class Indian's English
71. Who do you want to kiss?: not telling, but he'd better be worth my first kiss
72. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunrise is too cold, Sunset too depressing
73. Do you want to live to be 100?: Only if I could be young and healthy when it rolled around
74. Is a flat stomach important to you?: It's a dream I shall never attain through healthy means
75. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: Played once, don't think it really worked
76. Are you loyal?: To myself
77. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: So long as they aren't imposed on others
78. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: On. Too bright otherwise. Tho if I get a bf, I may think otherwise...
79. Do you like your nose?: Never did, never will
80. Do you think you can draw well?: Yes
81. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: Never believed
82. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: by shoes, do you mean the kind that doesn't have holes in them? Then 4.
83. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: Sandals!
84. Do you write poetry?: Only if I'm sad
85. Snore?: If I'm tired I think, I'm not able to observe my sleeping habits
86. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: Back usually
87. Cats/Dogs?: Doggie! A small one that's nice and quiet
88. Do you lick stamps?: not after that cockroach story, no
89. Do you use an electric can opener?: why would I?
90. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?: Hmm, it sounds interesting, but no.

I have insomnia. I 'm homesick. I'm lonely. I want a hug...

Wow, it has been quite a while since I updated. Yes, things are still busy, and climbing around in the middle of the woods is not what I want to be doing. I became an architect so I could make more things indoors! Well, at least I won't need to go out there again now that most of the information I need has been recorded. The teachers said that things are going to be really busy now (as if it wasn't before...). Well if that's the way they want it, that's fine by me, but I won't be able to update so much...

Ah, I have a few moments of actual [gasp] free time!
Here's a little dilemma I have, though whether or not it is actually a dilemma...
One of the criterion that we're graded on here in the lovely architecture studios of Carnegie Mellon University is attitude. Now, but attitude, I assume the teachers mean the willingness to listen and to accept criticism. I just have to wonder about the attitudes of not only me, but those around me. I've always thought that my attitude could get very overbearing, assuming and bluntly rude. What I just adore is when the teachers say that someone in class has nice work and then that guy turns around and says "What an a**hole," the moment the teachers leave. Take a compliment for gods sake. So they gave you a C, ever wonder that maybe it's this kind of negative attitude that lands you with one?

Well, it seems I have not updated in the longest time. Bad me, and I was on such a roll, too.
This is possibly one of the busiest weeks I've had in a long time. I actually haven't visited the boys floor for around four days, imagine that! I think things have been really busy since 7:30 am on Tuesday. A brief summary is this:
Tuesday - got up early and went downtown and spent close to $200 renewing my passport, got back to Margaret Morrison Hall just in time to go with my group to stake our territory for the next project, argued over the exact location of the site on the map, made a CD which is wasted because it only contained a few megabytes of information, went to class, showed the other half of our group the site we chose, went on a fruitless journey to Kinkos in an effort to print out a 32"x32" project, but found out that I could actually eat a whole pint of ice cream (shock number 1), got back and found out another person managed to print out the picture, pieced the picture together, went to dance class for an hour, spent the rest of the evening cutting and taping cardboard, all of which ended around 12:30, went back to the room and tried to study.
Wednesday - got up early to go to violin lesson, which I yawned through, went to other classes, vowed to get my woodshop project started, but didn't and haven't yet, read blogs and found out that my friend from high school is getting married (shock number 2), caught up on some sleep, researched for three hours at the library, got back to the room around midnight to finish up my history reading, which, strangely, I can't recall at all, which means I have to read it yet again...
Thursday - Got up early yet again to go take photos of the site, went back and ate lunch, got all the pictures put onto a CD (wasted another one...), went to drawing class which was very fun today despite the fact that we had to draw a naked woman who wasn't particularly attractive (though my TA was very amusing in the way he described her boobs - he made a smushing sort of sound effect), went back to the site and tried with group members to plot out the exact border to no effect because no one could agree on where north was, went back to campus to try to print out photos and hit success at the hunt lab of all places at around nine (meaning I had to miss Shaolin Boxing....), went back to studio and worked until my friend showed up with the most difficult of the printouts around 11:30 pm, pasted things together, came back to the room.
And this is why archies don't have social lives....

Oh wow, if I thought Monday was nice, tonight throws that all out the window. I really was in a terrible slump so I decided today that I'd go chat with the nice boys in the basement.
It really started when I was walking back from the studio today, and I saw one of them who I hadn't seen in a while, so when he asked if I'd had dinner yet, I thought, what the hey, I'll go to dinner. So we did and went to the history movie which I quite enjoyed, even if it was somewhat sad. Then we went to the basement where I hung out and chatted with all the guys who deigned to join us. And then I went with one to the studio to chat while he worked. He didn't get much work done, unfortunately. I think I talked a bit too much. It was very nice though. I don't fell quite so lonely and inadequate now. Happy me.

Today was rather satisfying, I think. I got lots done. Finished my woodshop project, got another one of my pieces displayed, attended a lecture, fell asleep at the lecture - all is well. I think the lecture wasn't necessary for me though, or any other freshmen. It was way ahead of us. I figured this out by looking around the room and seeing rapt faces on the older students and dazed confusion and sheer boredom on the faces of my fellow freshmen. I wish I could say I was inspired by the speaker, but unfortunately, his words were like a different language to me.
One thing that really ruined part of my day though was a review I got of the work I sent into Cooper Union. It was so incredibly harsh that I have to wonder, why is it that they even waitlisted me? When I think about all the work I sent in, they are, for the most part, pure crap. The work I do now seems a lot better though, so I figured the comments wouldn't affect me too much. Boy was I wrong. I ended up crying for the next hour. Thank goodness the lecture hall was kind of dark, because that would just be embarrassing.
I'm trying very hard to be in a good mood, can you tell? I haven't been very happy for the past couple of weeks. I strongly suspect it's just PMS, but still, it's very negative. Must try to be more positive. Glass half full...

Well, I thought I was busy before, things are getting even busier. My roomie commented that on Friday the ony two times she saw me was in the morning when she left for class and in the night, when she went to bed. The reason? I've been stuck in the studio, and if not the studio, I've been stuck in the woodshop. And the only time I was out doing something "fun" was when I went sparring. Except it wasn't too fun. I have quite a few bruises. I noticed I've been in a bad mood lately. O well.

Hullo again, world. I actually broke my "eat healthy" plan that I unknowingly set up for myself today. Gone are the salads and pasta and healthy things where I rarely ate any meat. I splurged so much today, I think because I'm feeling so much stress, between violin, history, studio and dance.
I found out today that I'm in the pity group - the girls that didn't make it into any of the dance groups. It doesn't matter, apparently, that I can do a really good leap, or double pirouettes and can twist myself in ways that would kill other people. Yes, I know, I sound extremely bitter. I just don't get it. I figure I didn't have enough energy while I was dancing...I still don't quite get how to get more "energy," so if anyone knows, please tell me. Well, anyway, bitter Angela will now attempt to put her frustrated energies towards something more productive, such as writing the history paper...

This was probably the busiest weekend I ever had. I really hope that not all of them will be like this.
First we have this huge project which comes in several parts. I was in the studio until 3 am working on just two, note the small number, two of my panels. I finished the third one in bits and pieces while I was waiting for the damn computer to do its job. Which it wouldn't do, at least six times for me today. Oh yes, I did get to go to the Shaolin Boxing thing, and I quite enjoyed it, so I'll keep going. Hopefully, I won't be banging my wrist into bedposts by accident anymore.
Have you ever tried dancing in front of people? I always thought it'd be easy, just like on the football field. But when you're in a room and there's three people staring at you and only you, and you can see them quite clearly, it's very nerve wracking. I had dance auditions today and learned three eights of a very cool dance. If only the choreographers' work was more like it. Only a few of them were actually any good, and the one I really really want to be in...well, lets just say that the guy choreographing really had his pick. I wonder if I should choreograph something just as complicated for next season...that would be most fun.

Argh! Have you ever had writers block? Well, I have a drawer's block, and I tell you, it's not fun. I just don't understand how they do it....
I can't believe it's already the middle of the third week. My, but time does fly fast here. I hope the speed picks up so I can go home for Thanksgiving sooner.
I realized as I was getting ready for class this morning that I seem to have lost some weight. Now I wonder if its because the food here is [gasp, horror] healthier than mom's good cooking, or if its because my tummy's been in such horrible shape that it didn't process the nutrients and I'm starving to death without even knowing it. I hope for the former reason. Then I can look forward to mommy's unhealthy chinese gourmet cuisine. Yummmmm...

Wow, this week really just flew by, just like the money magically flying out of my wallet. I basically spent most of this week working, though my late nights were only till 10:30, not like some other archis who worked till 5:30 AM! Absolutely amazing that they can drag themselves home, though I heard someone actually slept under their desk...
We had desk crits today, and they went well, I think. I have to spend MORE money on expensive paper for my grand presentation on Monday. It's funny how the teachers kept reminding us to dress like we were Muslim women. I guess they had problems with Christina Aguilera look-alikes in the past.
I decided to go goth on Thursday. It was quite nice, actually. Not too many people were freaked out. Ah, the enlightened civilization that is CMU. I did sorta startle this really nice librarian that I met last week though, and I feel a little bad about that.

Well, you would not believe what happened to me on Sunday night, you whom I haven't told, that is. Yes, I got asked out. That's the good news. Bad news is that the guy who did the asking wasn't the nicest...
Here's the story, pasted on from a transcript of a chat with my best buddy:
Beware - teen dialect!
you would not believe what just happened. this little asian guy, I'm not sure if he's chinese or not he was wandering down our hallway for no apparent reason even tho he doesn't live in teh dorm so he wanders over just walks right in to our room doesn't even acknowledge my roomie and just waltzes over and goes "hey, I know you" "where do I know you from?" so I was like "hey, yah. architecture comp class" and he was like "o yah!" and then he was like, "o hey, you're playing agame?" "girls play games"... "is that deus ex?" "wow, you like myst too!" "can I borrow myst?" so he borrows myst that's while I stll thought he was a nice boy like my friend Andrew and then he was like "Angela Chi" Chi? which chi? so I'm like, sure you might be chinese, I'll write it out so I grab my assignment book which has my email list and stuff on it and I write my Chi thingy and he grabs the book and is like "hmm, your phone book eh?" "Matt Chapman...who's matt?" so then I started suspect this strange beaver looking chinese boy was onto something more unfortunately before that thougth completely processed I said, "o, he's just a friend of mine" so then we talk about stuff and somehow this kid says "Hey, I'll bet I'm smarter than you" yah, seriously adn I was like "o? and what is your IQ?" so he goes, "yah, 130. beat that" and I was like "hey, 136 beat that!" so that phased him a little, but not for long and then he said "hey, cool panda!" and then he started molesting my panda, the one I brought from home and moved on to molesting my roomies dragons and started talking about some others girls turtles and then, he asks "So what month were you born? what day, hour?" and I was like" uhhhh March?" and he kinda droops and goes "o, I'm in september" and I was like "thank god, I
have an excuse" so he was like "but, hey, I don't mind older women. WAnna go out?" and I was like "wait, you just insulted my roomie, my brains, my panda and my room" in my mind tho - darn my courage, the lack thereof,
rather so I was like "um, well, I'm sorry but I like older guys" and he was like "Naw, you'll like me better. I'm way more mature than most guys" yah seriously and then I was like "well, sorry, I like taller guys" he was only 5'5" btw and he was like "aw, that doesn't matter" and then I had to pull in the "I like white guys" and he was like "o why?" and then he was
like "details" "what do you mean by older white guys?" and I didn't have anythign to go on and really, I was never in this situation before so I panickeda nd was like "Well, my ex-bf, James, is a white guy, and he's 23 I know, I knwo don't kill me too badly so then he was like "aww, can I at least get a hug?" and I look at him and am like "what?" I suspect he
would've groped me sooo so then I go, "umm, sorry, but you can hug my panda..." so he hugs the panda and then I get rid of him, but not before he borrowed the myst game darn him so that means I'll ahve to talk to him again cuz he wrote his email and phone number in my book but then, he leaves but he comes back knocks and the door and is like "are you sure?" and I was like "umm, yah, sorry" and he was like "well, think about it, really"
Horrible! And he has a hostage! Why oh why! Why Myst!! Noooooo!

Success! I am now fully enlightened as to what the dumb purple twig is called. It's red kangaroo paw, or anigozanthos rufus. I am so incredibly delighted, and a little annoyed that the teachers led me off in a totally wrong direction. But hey, while we were searching, we found a really wonderful supermarket called Whole Foods, which sells only organic foods and lots of other interesting thing. We studied the ice cream section quite thoroughly. There's actually an ice cream made out of rice. It's really good too, I bought some.
We [as in, my roomie and I] found a great art store near by, and there's a huge section selling nothing but paper. Expensive paper too. We bought a packet of handmade paper for $20 and some putty and we wallpapered our room. I really like it, though my side looks disturbingly like Starbucks.